Category: On Life

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Character Building Podcast: The One to Listen To

If you haven’t already read a life changing book, one that sticks with you forever and a day, you likely will as you age.  Nowadays, however, it doesn’t have to be a book, it can be a podcast! Recently, I was privileged to a conversation that asked after recommended books and podcasts.

Well, have I got news for you. Our recent podcast of UIO: On Character Building could be the one.

Though the podcast is profound, it is refreshing and packed with gems and inspiration that couldn’t have come at a better time than now as the world begins to look at the shift in norms that we’ve taken when it comes to shaping character, who we are, not only as individuals but also as a society.

Our guest for the episode, former Paralympic swimmer Elizabeth Wright, says: “Character is an integral part of life.  In a nutshell, character is who you are, it is those elements inside of you that are a part of you that develop and grow. They can be strengths for people. They can be parts of your personality, parts that you can pull on when times are tough.”

Most of us can relate to this and tend to think of character traits such as grit, determination, courage and so on to aid us in performing a task, be it to achieve or overcome a challenge.  And those performance character traits are important (I should know as I have had to call on them a time or two, especially while mourning the loss of my mother), but they are not the only ones of significance.

Elizabeth says there are four categories for building character if you will:  performance, moral, civic and intellectual.  And the key is striking a balance and knowing your strengths, particularly when facing some of the undue pressures.  

Our Wait Awhile research confirms unprecedented pressures for teenage girls in areas ranging from altering appearance permanently to going further in a sexual relationship than comfortable with, and while these pressures are unlikely to let up anytime soon, On Character Building provides original insight into to the debate and can serve as an invaluable resource to deal with them positively.

For example, if you are being asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable, learn to hone and call on those character strengths that are true to your values, focusing on the moral category. Or do something to change the world yourself if you are civic minded.

Enough said! Take a listen to On Character Building with Elizabeth Wright on iTunes, on our website, Soundcloud and on various other platforms. 

Here is a quick preview:

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How To Use Boundaries and Effective Communications

Family relationships are key to growth and development, particularly during the teen years, not to mention the opportunities that family life offers for learning new skills that will not only support you as a teen but will also set you up for the future.

For example, though boundaries might feel like rules that only cramp your style, they are crucial to learning to be responsible.

Reflecting upon my own teen years, I do recall having loads of boundaries—some to do with going out and others to do with staying in. I had to be home at a certain time and visitors, particularly boyfriends, had to be in to visit me at a certain time and out at a certain time, too.  Fair enough, although I didn’t think it was fair at all when a boyfriend and a distant cousin of mine turned up about half hour later than was allowed and found themselves turned away at the door by my father.

How embarrassing? However, looking back, not only can I see that it was fair but it was necessary for me to understand the importance of honouring other people’s boundaries. First, I realised that the boundary was set set out of care and concern and for my own wellbeing. Next, it taught me discipline and responsibility. For example, somehow it helped me to value time and to respect other’s boundaries and expect them to respect mine.

I am sure having boundaries opened up opportunities for me to begin thinking of setting my own with friends, for example. The principle works in general. Knowing that you don’t feel comfortable doing a certain thing under peer pressure is one thing but having a boundary to avoid the consequences just might ease the pressure a bit. And thankfully you can take your boundaries right into adult life whether that is university or a job and then into your own family life.

The point is that boundaries are there to serve you, both mentally and physically.

Another skill to pick up from family life is learning how to communicate effectively. I know from my own personal life how difficult this can be even as adult, let alone as a teenager.  But it takes commitment and practice to become a good communicator and while there are many tips for communicating effectively–two key elements of practicing is listening and talking.

Easy peasy, right! Not necessarily, talking for example can be misunderstood if you don’t understand your own message and aren’t clear and concise about what it is you are trying to say.  So, the next time there is a misunderstanding with a parent or guardian, really think about what you would like to say and say it with clarity. But do make sure the timing and the tone are right. You’re speaking, not protesting.

And equally important is listening, actively, making sure you understand what is being said to you in response. That means not interrupting, not paying lip service to something and planning what you are going to say or do next.

The bottom line is that like setting boundaries, effective communications is there for you, as well, to make your experience the best possible scenario.  So why not tap into the opportunities to incorporate setting boundaries and communicating effectively into your own life at school, with friends and so on.  Check out our podcast: UIO: Your Family Inside Out with Helen Lewis for more hot tips on family life.

 

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Focus On Character For Developing Identity

In the midst of a tense time such as waiting for and receiving GCSE and A-level results, it can be quite easy to feel like your life will be defined by the outcome, desired or undesired.

Actually, however, they are exam results, albeit important ones but exam results are unlikely to define one’s life identity, if you will, no more than landing a certain job or making a sporting team can. Identity is one of those things that can shift shapes throughout life. It is all about being in the moment but not being swallowed up by it, if you will. One moment in time simply cannot define who you are, no matter how strongly you identify with an outcome or an experience.

For example, though I identified with being a journalist early on in life, I found myself desperate to leave my first newspaper job due to a moral conflict, if you will, and set my heart on landing a local PR position, even if it would take my career off track. Never mind it was available and could solve my problem instantly. I was on a fast track to being swallowed up by the moment.

But the moment didn’t embrace me, thankfully. To make a long story short, the job was given to a colleague who didn’t even need a new job at the time. I was devastated. And though I sort of stumbled out of the stupor into a job that would pave the way for me to move to New York, I had not made the connection between character and identity at the time.

As former Paralympic swimmer Elizabeth Wright, our guest for UIO: On Character Building puts it: “Character is an integral part of life.  In a nutshell, character is who you are, it is those elements inside of you that are a part of you that develop and grow. They can be strengths for people. They can be parts of your personality, parts that you can pull on when times are tough.”

Upon reflection, of course, my desire to become a storyteller of some kind influenced my decision to move to New York. It is the land of opportunity after all but I could have stayed put in Georgia, which was the popular opinion, but it was part of my character, having a bit of fortitude, that drove the move. I took courage and belief that a stint in New York could help me to reclaim my loss, not only get back on track but also make some new ones.

Not to mention, the girl cell inside of me, which Sisterhood co-founders Rachita and Rebecca, guests of Your Identity Inside Out, describe as “your super power. “

The moral of the story is this: whether your results are the desired ones or not, focus on who you are, not what you happen to be doing right now, to become the best you possible. And follow your dreams and use your character strengths to identify the right moves for you.

For more hot tips and inspirational advice on being who you are,  listen to Your Identity Inside Out and On Character Building, both available wherever you listen to podcasts and right here on our website.

 

 

 

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Taking The Time To Care For Yourself

Though the summer holidays are in full swing for some, they are completely over for others.  Regardless, it doesn’t feel like there is anytime to slow down, take stock of where you are in life.  Whether it is now figuring out what to do with your A-Level results, SAT scores or vocational achievement, the intensity can linger.

The thing to remember, however, is that very things are urgent! It doesn’t hurt to take some time to digest big news, big achievements and what might feel like big failures. They are all learning opportunities. Last December, on the heels of our On Personal Development podcast, I published a blog about taking advantage of down time.

And though you might be as busy as ever and feel anything but down, though heavy with decisions to make, those same tips might be just what you need for a spot of personal development, if you will.  Here they are:

1) Start the day on a positive note with some form of meditation. For me, that means a prayer. For others it might mean a session of mindfulness or full meditation.
2) Keep it moving physically. Walk, run, find some time to do exercise from right where you are.
3) Eat foods that serve your body, not ones that are going to depress the mind and the body further. As Robyn Spens points out in our latest podcast, On Personal Development, go for whole foods. As much as I love croissants, the difference in my mental and physical capacity is amazing when I pass on them, any gluten.
4) Reflect upon personal goals. If you are on track, that is amazing! Look at ways to stay on track but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If you are not, ask questions, loads of them. What are the hindrances?  “You can do anything you want but not everything at the same time.”
5) Take up a new activity. Ever fancied learning to draw or even knitting. Such activities require quieting the left side of the brain, the chatter box, and just letting things flow naturally.
6) Catch up on your reading and your UIO podcasts. Stretch the mind, use the imagination to live beyond any mind traps that keep you in a negative space.
7) Write it all down. I highly recommend keeping a journal as many of the guests from our UIO podcasts suggest. Doing so gets your thoughts down and also teaches you loads about yourself.

When all is said and done, if you do these things and others that serve you in developing personally, there will be less time to worry about what university to choose and so on.  The important thing is working on developing your full potential in the space you are in. And if that is coming to terms with a different university to the one you planned or preparing to attend the one of your dreams, remember very few things are urgent.

Take the time to take care of you.

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Emotional Bullying Can Come From Afar, Too

Emotional abuse is a big topic. No wonder we keep returning to it—it can happen to anyone and at any time. More often than not, the abuser, if you will, is someone familiar, whether at school, home, work and so on, but there are instances when emotional bullying can come out of left field.

Someone who you hardly know hurls an insult your way or says something that makes you intensely uncomfortable.  And though the person speeds off in their car, disappears into the night, leaves the room, their words stick with you far longer than their presence did. They hang over you like a dark cloud.

So much for sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never bother me.

Recently, I drove up to my neighbourhood after a morning session with my personal trainer. Definitely on a natural high, I felt good as I reversed into the space on the opposite side of the road from my house. With a million things to do, I gave myself kudos for parallel parking in one go and jumped out and grabbed the shopping I had picked up along the way. As I crossed the road, my equilibrium was shattered by the honking of a horn and a voice yelling at me.

“Hey, move your car,” the woman said.  “You are parked in front of my house. Why can’t you park in front of your own house?”

I did a double take to recognise my neighbour’s irate face behind the wheel of a small red car. Quickly I got out of the road and then turned to try to reason with her, though she continued to raise her voice and sound her horn.

Still I tried to remind her that with my parking permit and hers, we could park anywhere we wanted to in the given area, yet she wasn’t having any of it, though she admitted that she didn’t own the road.

She spouted off something about being inconvenienced. “Why can’t people just park in front of their own house,” she said loud enough for the whole street to hear.

“There is a space right in front of my car,” I said rather quietly. “You can park there.” This space was one door down from hers.

Now her voice an even higher pitch, she said a thing or two that I didn’t understand but I did make out “why don’t you park in front of your own house?”

Clearly, she was distressed, so I thought maybe I should move the car. I didn’t want to suffer a penalty for parking in a space that I had a right to park in.  So, I said, “if it means that much to you, I will move my car. Honestly!”

My gesture enraged her, caused her to shout at the top of her voice. “Why can’t you park in front of your own house,” she demanded repeatedly until I answered.

“Look you have to get a special permit if you want to park in front of your house all the time,” I said. “Anyhow, to answer your question: I don’t want the sap from the trees on my car.” This I thought she would understand.  I mean, who would want sap on their car, whether new and amazing or old and dilapidated, right.

By now, she was in hysterics. She told me to F-off and dare I mention the other expletives. On that note, I unlocked my door and went into my home but even behind the safety of my own door, her words had seeped into my pores.  Exasperated, I told Paul what had happened and for days to come I told everyone I came in contact with. Later that day I had to move the car and when I came back she was in the space, thus I parked in the one in front of her.  But the next morning, I moved the car as far away from hers as I could and tried my best to avoid her.

Still, weeks later her words are in my head but not as boldly as they were and not because time has waned them but because I have had to first of all, recognise that I was emotionally bullied, even if it did come from a stranger. No ifs, ands and buts about it. Next, I had to fully accept that as personal as it felt that it wasn’t. Though, I don’t believe that she would have behaved so appallingly with Paul or any man, the abuse was about her and not me. Clearly, she was very distressed and projected her anger on me. So I have long stopped trying to name it!

Finally, I’ve had to constantly remind myself that I have a right to park anywhere I want to in the area of my permit, without being yelled out. I didn’t do anything wrong. It was my neighbour who was clearly wrong but pointing fingers and casting blame keeps me in a space that doesn’t serve me.

What serves me is to think my way positively out of the corner, she backed me in.  A great segue to two bits of good news. First, she’s gone–the relevant neighbour moved a week or so later, which might explain why she was so cavalier but even before she left, I kept my distance. Next, we’ve re-released our podcast, On Emotional Bullying with Jillian ‘JJ” Simmons.  Check it out, not only for tips on how to manage emotional bullying with those up close and personal but also with this who are distant strangers, too.

It could be what you need to put the distance between you and an emotional bully. It worked a jewel for me.

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Dating as a teen – setting boundaries

I am surrounded by teen girls, not literally of course, but here in Sorrento, Italy, lots of girls from around the world and of course, boys, too are on holiday with their family. Also, teen girls are holding down or shall I say holding up summer jobs, not only at our hotel, but also at restaurants and shops, many of them family establishments.

It is wonderfully refreshing not only to see the camaraderie but watch the girls gain life experiences and skills, which is a great segue to this week’s topic—dating.

Bear with! You might wonder what family and work have to do with dating? Quite a bit though indirectly. For example, learning how to relate overlaps in all three areas of life and so does respecting boundaries and honouring values.

Learning is a big part of growing up and rarely do we think about growth opportunities when it comes to dating.But the truth is: just as we learn all about driving and get a bit of practice in before driving a car responsibly, so it is with dating.

Brushing up on your communications skills while on holiday with family might come in handy. Not only can you practice the art of conversation while talking to parents about new and exciting experiences, you can learn a lot about yourself and others along the way. Just keep in mind that a good conversation requires effective listening, too. As one expert put it during a workshop I attended years ago: to be interesting is to be interested.

That said, you might find yourself interested in things that others simply are not. Happens all the time and as with family sometimes it’s appropriate and fun to try new things and sometimes it simply isn’t. A respectable no is all that is necessary if the situation is not for you or wait awhile. It could go against your values; put you out of your comfort zone.

Knowing where to draw the line teaches the importance of not only having boundaries but also honouring the boundaries of others. Sometimes other’s boundaries might feel a bit like a drag but it’s their space, not yours. For example, I noticed a teen chuck water on his sleeping mother on her chaise longe, after she had been in the pool playing ball with him earlier. She was not amused, though he was. Never mind! The point is at that particular moment, she felt he crossed a line. As for dating, it is important to establish boundaries upfront and to honour yours and the boundaries of your date, too.

After all boundaries are intrinsically linked to values, your own as well as your date’s. So go ahead, enjoy your summer, growing and gaining experiences that are not only fun but will also serve you as you explore dating. For more tips, listen to our podcast series 2, episode 4 – UIO: On dating Inside Out with Cat Williamson. Check out other related UIO podcast, too.

Enjoy your summer!

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Tapping Into Your Values

Most of us inherit values from our parents, families and wider society. But there comes a time when values become up close and personal. We rely on what’s important to us.

Though I can’t pinpoint the moment in my life when I knew what was important to me, my father tells me that even as a kid, some 8 or 9 years of age, I was somewhat charitable. Once I took the pencils and paper that he and my mom had brought for us to school and told the teacher they were for the children who didn’t have any. When the stuff went missing, of course, those unfortunate kids turned out to be my siblings.  I have no recollection of this whatsoever, but Daddy does, as do a a couple of my siblings.

The point is that though my first conscious thoughts of what was important to me in life, likely came when I was a teen, subconsciously my mind was at work much earlier.  Many experts agree that our core values tend to form early on in life and can steer us from the teenage years—often chalked up as a time of discovery and rebellion—to adulthood during the best and worst of times. Thus, knowing what really matters is important.

In our podcast with awarding winning coach Jenny Garrett, UIO: Your Values Inside Out, Jenny points out that it was her strong values that likely saw her through her teenage years. I agree. Often when facing tough decisions or even life changing situations, what it came down to for me was: what really mattered to me, not what everyone else thought mattered.

But let’s face it, what we truly value can get squashed in the minutiae of life. Furthermore, there are more blurred lines today than ever when it comes to values, making it crucial to tap into what matters the most.

Of course, when you’re a teenager, so much seems to matter the most, and it can all feel rather urgent. Upon reflection, I’ve learned over the years that very few things are urgent and there are some steps that can be taken to unmask what is real and what is not.

First, consider Waiting Awhile.  Often letting the intense moment pass sharpens your focus. This sort of tactic might come in handy when under peer pressure to do something that goes against your values. See our Wait Awhile campaign for more tips.

Next, Go with your Gut, not to be confused with the chatter box in your head that says jump on the bandwagon when everyone is bullying the new kid at school. If your gut says give it a miss and welcome the kid, then go with your gut, even if it makes you less popular for a few days.  

Finally, as mentioned in many of our podcasts, find real role models, mentors that inspire you, people whose values are aligned with yours. Learning by association has no substitute and it can work against you, too, so do keep that in mind.

So go ahead teen girls live your best life, knowing what really matters to you.  In some instances that might mean championing a cause, in others it could mean doing something kind for someone you hardly know. In short, it means tapping into your values inside out, regardless of the blurred lines so often above, beyond and around you. It’s all about you being clear.

 

 

 

 

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Support is Pivotal for Achievement

Playing your game

Sadly, I didn’t get to see Cori (Coco) Gauff in action, as we were still in Cannes sunning ourselves and learning French when she made her Wimbledon debut. And when her run ended, I scarcely knew that I was back in England. Still, I caught the excitement, the energy that this dynamic teen girl was creating, not only in London but throughout the world.

This going me thinking about our podcast, On Being A Teen Girl Now.  Of course, not every girl is a sports phenomenon nor does everyone want to be but it seems to me that to be the best at whatever it is that a girl wants to be, it takes a few disciplines—training, practicing, character building, taking it all in and having the drive (the desire) to keep it moving, to name a few.

And according to our two wonderful teenage girl guests of the said podcast, that’s not all. There is something to say about the support of parents and guardians and guides and mentors. When asked what they each needed to make a good transition from being a pre-teen to a teen, both young ladies were quick off the mark with an inspiring response.

For 16-year-old Leah, it had to do with feeling powerful because it was particularly a time of feeling powerless and that not only came from home but from teachers and other adults at her school and for 15-year-old Divaina, it was the support of her parents, particularly her mother, who she was able to talk to about anything. It was having a close relationship where she could express her inner most hopes and desires and feel safe-guarded, no matter what.

To this end, it was wonderful to see the videos and photos of Coco’s parents in the stands cheering her on and the unprecedented support from adults around the world, famous and those not so famous.

How different the world would be, I thought, social media, for starters, if this kind of support was extended to all teen girls. Make no mistake about it, I am not taking anything away from Coco, rather I am giving her a thumbs up for commanding so much respect and gaining enormous support, but I am dreaming of a world, on and offline, where teenage girls can feel this power that Leah spoke of and that Coco no doubt felt and still feels, as well as the support that Divaina needed and still needs unequivocally to be her best in life.

I am not suggesting a perfect world, which is the very idea that teenage girls have told us they’d like to banish.  I agree. But here is what I am thinking: a world in which girls can win and lose, if you will, without the fear of falling out of grace or not living up to someone else’s standards.

This could take a lot of doing but one hot tip that UIO offers is the importance of effective communications. It is a two-way street, Leah reminds. Not only it is important for parents and guardians to offer much needed advise and support, it is important for them to listen to the flipside too. It could make the difference in not only in success or failure but also could have a bearing on a girl’s well-being.

In his play, Cash Cow, writer Oli Forsyth explores what can happen when lines of communications become blurred or cease. His is the story of a tennis prodigy, whose parents push her, even when she doesn’t want to be pushed, and ignore at least one major cry out for help, in the name of winning. Eventually, it all ends in tears.

Though fiction, Cash Cow, raises key points about the importance of the teenager owning the experience. Without having the desire whether it is to become a sports star, a singer, an environmentalist, a teacher, etc, the offerings of support become something other than support.

And as for the power, the feeling of it wanes for the teenager that is and eventually fizzles out for the adults, too.  As both UIO guests touched upon in the podcast, the relationships between teens and the adults in their lives are pivotal, necessary for that powerful feeling to reign, to take you wherever you want to go..

Listen to On Being A Teen Girl Now on iTunes and Soundcloud or wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

 

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All You Need Is A Healthy Balance: That’s All

Summer often gets us thinking about our bodies, mainly how we look and how we feel as we prepare for sweltering holidays and outdoor sporting activities. It’s all about body image but let’s face it: sometimes body talk, including self-talk, can be quite negative from one extreme to the other.

While lots of progress has been made about body size and shape and the thin is in movement doesn’t have as much of a hold on society as it once did, the embrace excess fat (sometimes to the degree of obesity) movement, in the name of body positivity, is gaining steam.

Make no mistake about it, I am all for embracing your body, thunder thighs, love handles and all. I do mine, even if begrudgingly. The truth is, we are all genetically different, but we are all physiological beings. And to stay healthy, we need to take care of our body. We only have one.  That’s all.

Easier said than done, right!  I should know as I still find it challenging to get it right all the time, but what I have learned over the years about taking care of me is first of all, not to believe the hype on either extreme. Next, it is a fact that obsessing does more harm than good, and finally getting it right all the time is impossible.

They key is to finding a healthy balance that works for you but realising that there are some key elements that we each have to consider in making the best well-being choices:

—Food and Drink! We need it to live, no arguments there.  But it is only one part of the story, albeit a big part. To this end, several UIO podcast guests talk about the importance of getting the best diet for you—particularly during the teen years.  In Your Body Inside Out, personal trainer Judit Ressinka offers endless advice on making lifestyle changes that will serve you now and later.

She advises against gimmicks and yo yo dieting and talks about the importance of taking care of your body for the purpose of living life now to the fullest while setting up for the best possible future, too.

Although there is something to be said about the avocado, for example, its healthy benefits and all, Judit points out much to my relief that there is nothing wrong with a good burger or a slice of pizza either, as long as they have the right ingredients. That is key—all ingredients aren’t equal.  And every food is not for everybody.  Find out what serves you and enjoy it.

–Next up is Movement.  We need it as well, but movement is not as transparent as food and drink.  Personal trainer Laura Miles, guest in Your Body Image Inside Out, says that even when negative body image doesn’t manifest itself through eating habits, it tends to crop up in a number of other ways, such as negative self-talk and lethargy.

As such, Laura, who was an obese teenager, says that there is a big difference in truly embracing your body and accepting unhealthiness. In a recent conversation with her, she reiterated the importance of keeping a healthy balance including diet and exercise and just moving around, as well as getting the right amount of sleep, which leads to a third key element for taking care of your body.

–Of course, Sleep is something we know we need, even if we don’t get enough.  I don’t know about you but I am always talking about catching up on my sleep but according to some experts sleep is not something you can catch up on, rather it is something that you manage as best as you can from day-to-day for a number of reasons.

The key one, according to Nicola Morgan, guest in Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out is that sleep informs our health. In short, the brain needs sleep to function.

So, eating according to your health, keeping it moving and managing your z’s will keep you feeling truly body positive whatever shape or size. No need for believing the hype, obsessing to your own detriment or trying to be picture perfect.  Just be healthy. That’s all!

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Keeping Cool With UIO’s Hot Tips

I am in the heat of the moment, literally as I am in Cannes, France, in the midst of the country’s worst heat wave since 2003. Albeit Cannes is hot (il fait tres chaud and if you ask me, trop chaud) at 31 to 33 Celsius, which is 87 to 91 Fahrenheit, it is nowhere near the record temperatures of 45 C (113 F) in one small French Village. I can’t imagine and am prayerful that everyone is able to take cool cover.

Literally, when it is hot, we look for ways to cool down. Thankfully, we have an apartment with an air conditioner, and we are drinking plenty of water, etc… But what do we do when it gets a bit hot figuratively? Ditto! We look for ways to cool down.

Thus, I thought I’d take the opportunity to look to our most recent podcast series, featuring character building, emotional bullying and girls’ rights, for cool tips, though we normally refer to them as hot, sizzling hot, on how to navigate a heated situation.

Here we go:

Our guest for On Character Building, former Paralympic swimmer Elizabeth Wright, says: “Character is an integral part of life. In a nutshell, character is who you are, it is those elements inside of you that are a part of you that develop and grow. They can be parts of your personality, parts that you can pull on when times are tough.”

Elizabeth says there are four categories for building character if you will:  performance, moral, civic and intellectual.  And the key is striking a balance and knowing your strengths, particularly when facing some of the undue pressures.  

In our podcast, On Emotional Bullying, radio personality, Jillian ‘JJ’ Simmons stresses the importance of seeing emotional abuse for what it is, recognising when someone is intentionally manipulating you to gain control.

It sometimes masquerades as love, JJ points out. One of her hot tips for self-protection is to take care of yourself at the core. This means working on your self-esteem and ultimately knowing who are. In addition, she says it is important to watch what you feed your mind.

Easier said than done, right but knowing that you do have rights to protect your mind can surely help.

Our On Girls’ Rights podcast guest, Lindsey Turnbull, founder of Miss Heard Media, points out that boundaries are very important, not only for protecting your own space but they’re about respecting other people’s space, too.

Sometimes the lack of boundaries puts people off.

The key, says Lindsey, is to really like yourself. The more you like yourself, the easier it is to say no to things that don’t serve you, whether it is a seemingly small thing like accepting a salacious comment or a big thing, like going further in a sexual relationship than comfortable with.

Great cool tips for getting out of a heated situation, yeah!

Now about this heat in Cannes. I’d love to take a plunge but as I don’t swim, that could heat up pretty quickly.  Thus, I’ll stay in the flat and keep cool. Stay tuned for more news from UIO, the podcast for teen girls and listen on our website, iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.