Tag: Paralympian

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Character Building Podcast: The One to Listen To

If you haven’t already read a life changing book, one that sticks with you forever and a day, you likely will as you age.  Nowadays, however, it doesn’t have to be a book, it can be a podcast! Recently, I was privileged to a conversation that asked after recommended books and podcasts.

Well, have I got news for you. Our recent podcast of UIO: On Character Building could be the one.

Though the podcast is profound, it is refreshing and packed with gems and inspiration that couldn’t have come at a better time than now as the world begins to look at the shift in norms that we’ve taken when it comes to shaping character, who we are, not only as individuals but also as a society.

Our guest for the episode, former Paralympic swimmer Elizabeth Wright, says: “Character is an integral part of life.  In a nutshell, character is who you are, it is those elements inside of you that are a part of you that develop and grow. They can be strengths for people. They can be parts of your personality, parts that you can pull on when times are tough.”

Most of us can relate to this and tend to think of character traits such as grit, determination, courage and so on to aid us in performing a task, be it to achieve or overcome a challenge.  And those performance character traits are important (I should know as I have had to call on them a time or two, especially while mourning the loss of my mother), but they are not the only ones of significance.

Elizabeth says there are four categories for building character if you will:  performance, moral, civic and intellectual.  And the key is striking a balance and knowing your strengths, particularly when facing some of the undue pressures.  

Our Wait Awhile research confirms unprecedented pressures for teenage girls in areas ranging from altering appearance permanently to going further in a sexual relationship than comfortable with, and while these pressures are unlikely to let up anytime soon, On Character Building provides original insight into to the debate and can serve as an invaluable resource to deal with them positively.

For example, if you are being asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable, learn to hone and call on those character strengths that are true to your values, focusing on the moral category. Or do something to change the world yourself if you are civic minded.

Enough said! Take a listen to On Character Building with Elizabeth Wright on iTunes, on our website, Soundcloud and on various other platforms. 

Here is a quick preview:

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Never Leave Home Without Good Character Traits

Good character traits are paramount when it comes to overcoming pressure or challenges. It’s the difference sometimes in whether to give in or stick to our own values or whether to give up or keep it moving.

With the unprecedented pressures on teenage girls nowadays, I am delighted to hear of the return of emphasis on character building. The first podcast in our new series, with Paralympian Elizabeth Wright, who advocates character building throughout schools in the UK, deals with the topic. It is out May 15.

Meanwhile, talking about character building brings a breath of fresh air to the debate on how to address some of the modern-day pressures we all face. Sadly, for some time now personality traits have served as the moderator for what is acceptable and what is not.  And when someone is either out of character or displays bad character traits, we often hear: that’s just the way she is.

Call me old fashioned but I call it bad company, bad character. Surely, it is unreasonable to pass off unkindness, rudeness, disloyalty and the lot as just the way someone is.

When I was growing up, I think the emphasis on character building was still on trend, if you will. It might have been losing its steam, but I knew the importance of good character traits in not only building good solid relationships, but also in achieving success in any undertaking.  Another story on whether I always displayed good character or not, but I did understand it.

If I wanted my parents to trust me, then I had to be honest and if I wanted my friends to trust me, then I had to be loyal. And the one time in my teenage life (surely there have been others) when I wasn’t loyal, I suffered painful emotional consequences seemingly for ages. I won’t go into the situation and hope others involved have long since forgotten, but this betrayal of sorts called my integrity into question. All I will say is that there was a popular boy involved. Never mind.

Anyhow, not only did I take a harsh fall from the throne of grace in the eyes of a friend or two and possibly a relative, I crashed landed in my own mind’s eye. It took years to rebuild my own self-esteem and to forgive myself for the deed, even if it was small. But the point is this: without integrity, I might have never known that I was out of character. 

Good character traits can and often do serve as a radar in relationships. Also, good character traits can see us through an achievement and aid us in the worst of times.

When it comes to achieving, I’ve always been slightly above average and slightly below excellent, but where I sit in the great in between is powered by my character traits of perseverance, optimism, reliability, conscientiousness and self-discipline to name a few. Though I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey, there are bits about it that I didn’t really appreciate–having to go to choir rehearsal every Friday night (okay one or two out of the month), lead a song when I could not sing, and attend Sunday School every Sunday morning and participate in the discussions.

But these activities, like them or lump them, fed into my character and drove me to pick up the phone as a young media specialist in New York City and pitch a story, even if I did dread it; sing from a stage in Poland to an audience, who insisted I had the voice of Whitney Houston until they heard it in song; do the right thing in enormous sticky situations, although I didn’t always feel like it; and most recently dig deep and speak up on a overcrowded broadcast platform, when I felt a bit mismatched.

Through these experiences and others, I have come to learn over the years never to leave home without my good character traits. As for the bad ones, I’ve resorted to waiting awhile to keep them in check and I must say the benefits have been enormous.

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New Podcast Series Coming In May

As we prepare for our third podcast series to launch in May, I find myself preparing show notes on some rather tough subjects, one of them emotional bullying, a topic that is as elusive as it is complex.

Unfortunately, emotional bullying is likely the most common form of bullying because it wears so many different hats. Think of verbal abuse, social exclusion, spreading gossip and rumours, telling lies, name calling, backstabbing, betrayal, etc.

Health Direct, a website of the Australian Government sums it up as one person maintaining power or control over another person. And though there are varying definitions that link bullying and abuse to relationships, the point is: bullying is destructive and damaging whether in an intimate close up relationship or a distant one.

A key theme about emotional bullying is that it is repetitive. And according to the Positive Parenting Center’s website, the older girls get the more prevalent it becomes in their lives.

Make no mistake about it, however, emotional bullying is not just a girl thing.  It is something that can and does happen to any and everyone, regardless of background or age.  It just so happens that some statistics in the US show that physical bullying drops off somewhat for girls as they get older and emotional bullying increases.

Sadly, bullying makes its way into adulthood all too often.  I have far more memories of possibly being bullied in the workplace than I do at school. One of my first bosses was definitely an emotional bully, who attacked my work repeatedly and threatened to fire me, after I pointed out a clear matter of discrimination.  A close friend had a similar experience, though the attack on her came out of nowhere, causing her to change the course of her career.

Both experiences had mental and emotional consequences but thankfully we both saw the problem for what it was and managed to put a stop to it, which isn’t always the case.

Thinking back to my school days, however, unless bullying got physical, it wasn’t always called what it was.  That is the thing about emotional bullying; it is ambiguous and hard to stamp out for that very reason.  It is without the physical bruises, but the scars are there, if only the target feels them.

I have hazy memories of a particular student emotionally bullying certain kids on the school bus. I did my best to avoid the person but because this person didn’t have the mythical hallmarks of a bully, there was no proof in the pudding that the taunting was taking place, even if the person only poked and prodded with words– threats and lies.  And when all else failed, it was easy to spread rumours and gossip and forbid followers to hang out with the target.

In those days, help didn’t seem to be a stone’s throw away, though it likely was. Bullying wore a mask and in some ways still does. However, nowadays, the mask is being ripped away. The key is to recognise bullying for what it is and get help as soon as possible whether that means talking to a family member, close friend, teacher, someone you can trust.

And do check out past podcasts, all on our website, particularly On Dating Inside Out.  Again, watch this space:  our new series of UIO, the podcast for teen girls,  is coming in May with a great line up of guests, including a Paralympic three-time medallist, a popular radio personality, and a media entrepreneur creating opportunities for teen girls.