Tag: Laura Miles

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Get The Facts About Embracing Your Body Image

Believe in Yourself

Body Image is one of those subjects that never goes away. Ageless, it is always topical, not surprisingly. I say this because body image is all about how you see yourself physically and mentally, too.

Whether that is your face, your hair, your size, your shape, it is all about you and only you live with yourself each second of the day. No wonder having a healthy body image is crucial to a healthy overall wellbeing.

Admittedly, keeping a healthy outlook about life is hard enough on its own sometimes, what with all the challenges of growing up, let alone keeping positive about body image.

Thus, I want to share a few simple facts about how to embrace your body image right where you are.

First, focus on what you like about your body and not what you don’t like. This is easier said than done, right? Most times the thing we worry about the most, fret about, dominates the mind and can have an eroding effect on self-esteem.

Remember how draining it was the last time you obsessed about what you didn’t like about yourself. Try the opposite. Find something you really like and there will be plenty of choice and focus on it for starters. All the rest will fade into the background. For more tips on how to do this, listen to Your Confidence Inside Out with Cheryl Grace.

Next, accept that there will be bad days, bad moments when nothing looks or feels right inside out. We all have times such as these. You are not alone!

When this happens control what you can and let go of the rest. It will somehow take care of itself. For example, if you don’t like your hairstyle, change it or if you don’t like how an outfit makes you feel, find one that makes feel good. All the rest, let it go! If it is acne, for example, it will go away. If its body shape or something genetic, embrace it! It is yours!

The key is to stay healthy both physically and mentally.

After this, get clued in about what and who influences your perception about yourself. Pay attention to what you watch, what you read, who you long to be like. Let’s face it, you don’t live in a vacuum, but you can exert control over what you take in.

Limit your social media visits and report anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and cut back on television and remember that actresses and social media influencers are paid to look a certain way. That’s their job!

And don’t compare yourself to your friends or foes for that matter. Remember, that people come in different shapes, sizes, heights, colours and so on. There is only one you!

Finally, take on a few healthy habits if you already haven’t and truly make them habits.

For example, eat foods that serve your mind and your body consistently. Cut back on sugar. As sweet as it is, it is behind a multitude of health problems. And do check out Your Body Inside Out podcast with Judit Ressinka, who offers tips on how to reinvent your favourite foods such as pizza.

And don’t forget that exercise is as much about your mental health as it is your physical health. No time for a full work out? Then take a short walk or a run. Judit suggests dancing and other creative ways to get exercising.

One last tip is to talk to someone you trust, a real person, particularly when you are stuck on a dislike or feeling down about something you’ve seen. It’s good to get it out and have a reality check.

In the meantime, take care of you inside out. Check out Your Body Image Inside Out with my personal trainer, Laura Miles, who shares her journey on developing a healthy body image, as well as How To Take Care of Your Body During Tough Times with Hope Virgo. And remember, it is you I owe.

Happy New Year!

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Dealing With Anxiety On All Levels

So, what is making you anxious nowadays?  If you are anything like me, you might be thinking where shall I start? There is a mountain of worries on a world scale and sometimes equally as many on a local scale. Few will challenge that notion, but it’s the personal ones, if you ask me, that really get the adrenalin flowing.

And before you know it, you’ve had something beyond an adrenalin rush that makes you think you are having a medical emergency.

Been there and done that. That’s anxiety, this feeling of unease, like a worry or a fear. Unfortunately, it happens to us all from time to time and to some people it happens perpetually.  In other words, bouts of anxiety range from mild to severe and when anxiety is severe, it is usually then considered a specific condition and treated as such in the best-case scenario.

But here is the thing. Anxiety comes under the umbrella of emotional and mental health, whether it is mild or severe.  And just as we can do things to maintain good physical health, we can do the same with mental health.  And when more severe mental health problems arise, we can get  help just as we do with a severe physical illness.

I’ve been fortunate enough to do three podcasts around mental health, one of them specifically on social anxiety, a more severe form of anxiety. Check out our podcast, On Social Anxiety, with Claire Eastham, who suffers from social anxiety, for a better understanding of what it is and what it is not. As Claire says, it is not a fear of people, it is an overwhelming fear of being judged by other people so much so that you isolate yourself.

In any case, I’ve learned a lot from all three podcasts on the matter and have gleaned some tips from the interviews, research and personal experience.  Let’s start with how to maintain good mental health to ward against anxiety.

  • Understand your anxiety. Call a spade a spade. The minute you do this it loses its power. This is one of the best tips I have ever received, and it just so happens it came from Laura Miles, guest on Your Body Image Inside Out.
  • Make time for your worry. That’s right! Give it its props, isolate it and move on.
  • Face the things you want to avoid. Claire Eastham points out that if you don’t anxiety wins.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts. That’s a biggie and goes hand in hand with positive self-talk.  Cheryl Grace talks about the importance of this in Your Confidence Inside Out.
  • Shift your focus. Get practical and physical by doing something you enjoy which relaxes the mind, such as yoga, running, or even journaling.
  • Talk about It. A problem shared is a problem halved. 

What about getting help when anxiety becomes more severe and interferes in your daily life.

  • Realise it is not your fault; it is a condition.
  • Reach out to adults/counsellors, people with more experience in the area.
  • Get a diagnosis, if at all possible. Once you know what it is, it is possible to then treat it, as you would a physical illness.
  • Care for yourself. Lots of options here including eating right, getting enough sleep, and managing the time you spend on social media.
  • Talk to someone you trust. It is important to give the negative feelings airtime so that they don’t stay buried in your mind.

So, whether it is mild or severe, anxiety can be managed for a happier and healthier life experience.  Again, check out UIO podcast for more tips.

 

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Playing It Safe On And Offline

Halloween has rolled around too fast for me, not enough time to get with the programme, at least that is my excuse. The truth be known I have never been a big Halloween fan but growing up, I loved a sweet or two now and again and a party or two as a teenager and then young woman, so I happily kitted myself out and went along with the gruelling fun.

But I could not do the haunted houses, the scary movies, etc… and still don’t. I just don’t find the pulse racing, adrenaline pumping, nerve jittering moments much fun.

And fun was always the key for me but as I get older, enjoying Halloween has become as much about staying safe as it is having fun. In the pre-Internet days, staying safe on Halloween and in general was a bit more local, if you will, but nowadays, staying safe goes far beyond stepping out of the front door, though the latter is no less important.

But with the accessibility of the Internet, there is no need to leave home to find yourself in an unsafe space on or off Halloween. In our podcast with E-safety Expert Charlotte Aynsley, we discuss some of the obvious unsafe spaces such as sharing explicit images and cyber bullying.

And there are many others.  For example, the space of glorifying self-harm and suicide. This week, Ian Russell, father of Molly Russell, who committed suicide at 14, continues his quest to ensure that self-harm propaganda is off the Net. And as Aynsley pointed out in On Internet Safety, the authorities continue to make progress in general in keeping the Internet Safe, but there is a long road to travel, as it is a not an easy task, dealing with a world which is not necessarily regulated.

Another troubling area on the Internet has to do with Body Image. In some instances, as pointed out by Leah in our podcast On Being A Teen Girl Now, some of the pressure to have a certain kind of body comes from advertisers stalking teenage girls, if you will.  Imagine a message or ad about being thin elusively cropping up on your page.  Inappropriate no matter how you look at it but that much more to target young vulnerable girls.

Again, the authorities are cracking down on this sort of thing. Still work has to be done on all sides—education being a big, big part of progress. The key here is that all unsafe spaces don’t look unsafe.

For example, issues around Body Image can come from the close connections–wanting to look and be a certain way because you believe that everyone else has the look, albeit some of the pressure comes from celebrities. Aynsley points out that this is one of biggest Internet safety issue for teen girls.

While such issues can impact physical health, they can also have a major influence on mental and emotional well-being, not always as detectable as a problem straight away, but equally as dangerous. 

So, if you are headed out for Halloween tonight or even staying in for that matter, stay body positive. If you want to check out what is online.  There are loads of wonderful body positive bloggers and podcasts too for a reality check. UIO has two: Your Body Inside Out with Judit Ressinka and Your Body Image Inside Out with Laura Miles.

And of course, our latest podcast On Internet Safety has loads of hot tips on body image and staying safe online.

Now about my Halloween. I am going to play it safe—curl up with a good book and I know just the one, We’re All Mad Here by Claire Eastham, guest on next week’s podcast On Social Anxiety. Stay tuned and yes, stay safe.

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Bucking The Comparison Factor

There are a number of factors that go into having a positive body image, running the gamut from being satisfied with how you look, being happy with who you are, feeling good about yourself and not comparing yourself to others.

It is the latter, the comparison factor, that causes plenty of trouble for a lot of folks. Take me, for example,  I all too often, albeit subconsciously, compare myself to another and find myself deflated rather quickly.  And I am not talking about making blatant physical comparisons; those are easy to stamp out.  Each of us is unique, I get that.

Still, elusive comparisons have a way of creeping in and often when you are feeling most confident.  This morning, I was quite comfy in my own space in my Yoga class with my ungraceful Malasana pose (a squat of sorts)– forgive me if I’ve got the pose wrong; I am new to this–until I say the woman in front of me and the one beside me, etc.  You get my drift.

And that is what happened, I drifted from a relatively body positive person, brimming with confidence to an unstable flat footed girlie of sorts.  And as the instructor had said it was okay to go into child’s pose at any time, I took the opportunity to do so, shying away from Malasana.

It was in these few seconds in child’s pose that I remembered that such comparisons fall well below the conscious and are almost undeniable until they back you against a wall. Though I recovered rather quickly this morning, there have been other times that the feeling of deflation has dominated my person indefinitely, like when I was younger and felt that I didn’t fit in at a social event because my hair, my nose, etc… was different from everyone else’s.

I had a scar for the longest time about athletics because I was not as good as the other girls in my class. Instead of accepting that it just wasn’t my thing, I blamed it all on my body’s lack of ability and anytime athletics came up, well my body slumped, all of me did. Admittedly, it all sounds a bit ridiculous but in the heat of the moment, comparison can shake the most confident person’s body confidence.

Going back nearly seven years, I remember the comparison factor furtively stalking my 50th birthday party, forcing conversations about how one world was more enhanced than another’s either due to children, high powered jobs, husbands, properties, size and shape and so on.  Make no mistake about it, we are not necessarily fickle people and didn’t spend our entire time talking consciously about such things, but caught off guard, the comparison factor had a way of sneaking in and forcing our backs against a wall.

Fortunately, we caught on and looked at the flip side, which is about admiration rather than comparison. Big difference. The minute we talked openly about admiring one another for our achievements, whether deep or peripheral, we returned to a spacious place. What a wonderful celebration!

Now back to my yoga class this morning. Did I ever do the Malasana pose as gracefully as the next person? Not a chance but I did the pose in the best taste that I could master and felt quite satisfied with my feet for it. I thanked them profusely. Gratitude is another key to trouncing the comparison factor.

So the next time, you begin to compare yourself to another and feel deflated physically and mentally, buck up with admiration and a dose of gratitude and embrace the space that you are in. It’s all about celebrating you—body and all. For more tips on maintaining a positive body image, check out Episode 4: Your Body Image Inside Out.

 

 

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All You Need Is A Healthy Balance: That’s All

Summer often gets us thinking about our bodies, mainly how we look and how we feel as we prepare for sweltering holidays and outdoor sporting activities. It’s all about body image but let’s face it: sometimes body talk, including self-talk, can be quite negative from one extreme to the other.

While lots of progress has been made about body size and shape and the thin is in movement doesn’t have as much of a hold on society as it once did, the embrace excess fat (sometimes to the degree of obesity) movement, in the name of body positivity, is gaining steam.

Make no mistake about it, I am all for embracing your body, thunder thighs, love handles and all. I do mine, even if begrudgingly. The truth is, we are all genetically different, but we are all physiological beings. And to stay healthy, we need to take care of our body. We only have one.  That’s all.

Easier said than done, right!  I should know as I still find it challenging to get it right all the time, but what I have learned over the years about taking care of me is first of all, not to believe the hype on either extreme. Next, it is a fact that obsessing does more harm than good, and finally getting it right all the time is impossible.

They key is to finding a healthy balance that works for you but realising that there are some key elements that we each have to consider in making the best well-being choices:

—Food and Drink! We need it to live, no arguments there.  But it is only one part of the story, albeit a big part. To this end, several UIO podcast guests talk about the importance of getting the best diet for you—particularly during the teen years.  In Your Body Inside Out, personal trainer Judit Ressinka offers endless advice on making lifestyle changes that will serve you now and later.

She advises against gimmicks and yo yo dieting and talks about the importance of taking care of your body for the purpose of living life now to the fullest while setting up for the best possible future, too.

Although there is something to be said about the avocado, for example, its healthy benefits and all, Judit points out much to my relief that there is nothing wrong with a good burger or a slice of pizza either, as long as they have the right ingredients. That is key—all ingredients aren’t equal.  And every food is not for everybody.  Find out what serves you and enjoy it.

–Next up is Movement.  We need it as well, but movement is not as transparent as food and drink.  Personal trainer Laura Miles, guest in Your Body Image Inside Out, says that even when negative body image doesn’t manifest itself through eating habits, it tends to crop up in a number of other ways, such as negative self-talk and lethargy.

As such, Laura, who was an obese teenager, says that there is a big difference in truly embracing your body and accepting unhealthiness. In a recent conversation with her, she reiterated the importance of keeping a healthy balance including diet and exercise and just moving around, as well as getting the right amount of sleep, which leads to a third key element for taking care of your body.

–Of course, Sleep is something we know we need, even if we don’t get enough.  I don’t know about you but I am always talking about catching up on my sleep but according to some experts sleep is not something you can catch up on, rather it is something that you manage as best as you can from day-to-day for a number of reasons.

The key one, according to Nicola Morgan, guest in Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out is that sleep informs our health. In short, the brain needs sleep to function.

So, eating according to your health, keeping it moving and managing your z’s will keep you feeling truly body positive whatever shape or size. No need for believing the hype, obsessing to your own detriment or trying to be picture perfect.  Just be healthy. That’s all!

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A Bit Of Inspiration

Body image is a heavy topic, especially when it’s personal. And though I am in a good space now I haven’t always been, particularly during the last and first months of the year. The time of feasting can so often lead up to the time of questioning, scrutinising and trying to shed weight, one of the issues that can lead to poor body image.

Thankfully, I am in good stead for now. Still I am thrilled that we have chosen this week to re-release our fourth podcast ever, Your Body Image Inside Out, with personal trainer Laura Miles, released in May 2017. In the podcast, Laura who was an obese teenager, not only tells her personal story but also shares tips about how to keep fit without obsessing and comparing.

The bottom line is you are the only you in the world, so while you might not be exactly like some of the other girls, never mind. That was a hard lesson for me as a teen girl, believe it or not. I do remember feeling if only I had a body like her or even her I would be better at sports or more attractive and so on.

But over the years I have come across some tips that have helped me to embrace me, genes and all. Many of our UIO podcast guests, including Laura, either directly or indirectly have given some top tips on how to find happiness in the space you are in, starting now.

As published in my blog in May 2018, here they are, as apropos as ever.

Banish self-deprecating talk!
Focus on health!
Embrace genes, fanny and all!
Focus on likes and not on dislikes!
Make the most of the haves (that is what you have); ignore the have nots!

These tips can help with all poor body image problems, not just weight issues. And to add to the list: get active. Research shows that girls don’t always enjoy getting into sports, for example, owing to body image problems. Recently, our guest Laura wrote in a social media post that because she was no good at sports, likely to do with being obese, she refused to engage for fear of letting the team down. It was only when she found spinning, something that wasn’t a team sport or activity of sorts that she got active and begin to stop obsessing over poor body image and started getting healthy.

I can relate to Laura’s fears about letting the team down. Admittedly, I dreaded P.E. and sports days, but now I am one of the first to the gym, at least on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, because I understand the importance of exercise in the big scheme of things. And I get the bit about eating healthily, too, so important to developing a good body image.

When you feel better, you are better all around. Check out Episode 4: Your Body Image Inside Out for more tips and inspirational quotes on body image. During this first month of the year we could all do with a bit of inspiration. I know I can. Enjoy!

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UIO Launches Instagram Page

More excitement to cheer about at UIO: You Inside Out, the podcast for teenage girls.  Today, we launched our Instagram business page @uiopodcast. Follow us, like us, join us on Instagram.

This page follows the recent launch of our Facebook and Twitter pages.

With three dedicated social media pages, UIO aims to celebrate what it means to be a teenage girl today while advocating and campaigning on their behalf.

We’ll highlight great inspirational quotes and hot tips from our special guests—women featured in the podcasts: Cheryl Grace, Judit Ressinka, Jenny Hawkins, Laura Miles, Joy Miller, Jane and Molly Goldberg, Jenny Garrett, Rachel Gardener, Helen Lewis and Natalie Savvides–as well as creative photographs of teenage girls from both the US and UK.

Again join us, follow us, like our posts. Message us directly @uiopodcast or email UIO@sonjalewis.com. See you on Instagram.

Meanwhile, stay tuned for more UIO news.

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UIO Gets Dedicated Twitter Page

So many exciting things in the pipeline for UIO: You Inside Out, the new #podcastforteengirls. From the launch of ten episodes over the spring and summer to the unveiling of our first dedicated social media page on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, UIO is growing.

This week, we introduce UIO Twitter, user name @UIOPodcast, on which we look forward to joining important conversations to do with teenage girls and leading on some too.

Via our social media, we aim to celebrate what it means to be a teenage girl today while advocating and campaigning on their behalf. Thus, whether it’s to do with self confidence, values or peer pressure, we’ll be talking about it and listening, too.

In addition, we’ll highlight great inspirational quotes and hot tips from our special guests—women featured in the podcasts: Cheryl Grace, Judit Ressinka, Jenny Hawkins, Laura Miles, Joy Miller, Jane and Molly Goldberg, Jenny Garrett, Rachel Gardener, Helen Lewis and Natalie Savvides.

So join us, follow us, re-tweet our tweets. Message us directly @UIOPodcast or email UIO@sonjalewis.com. See you on Twitter.

Meanwhile, stay tuned for more UIO news.

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The UIO New Look Is Out

UIO: You Inside Out announces a new look , emphasising the voice of teenage girls.

Created by Dominque Ozturk, an accomplished designer who has years of experience in working with girls of all ages, the new look will be featured across all platforms where the podcast is aired, including iTunes and the UIO dedicated podcast page.

Also you can see the new look and listen to the podcast via Libsyn   Stitcher, Tunein and on Google Play music.

Created as a versatile medium for teenage girls with their input, UIO relies on sound principles and values, and offers a safe and responsible platform to provide insight into topics relevant to teenage girls today.

The 2017 pilot series includes ten shows, featuring a range of talented women with special interest, experience and expertise on a particular topic:

Episode 1 – Your Confidence Inside Out with Cheryl Grace

Episode 2 – Your Body Inside Out with Judit Ressinka

Episode 3 – Your Skin Inside Out with Jenny Hawkins

Episode 4 – Your Body Image Inside Out with Laura Miles

Episode 5 – Your Hair Inside Out with Joy Miller

Episode 6 – Your Mind Inside Out with Jane and Molly Goldberg

Episode 7 – Your Values Inside Out with Jenny Garrett

Episode 8 – On Sex and Sexuality with Rachel Gardner

Episode 9 – Your Family Inside with Helen Lewis

Episode 10 – Peer Pressure Inside Out with Natalie Savvides

Stay tuned for more UIO announcements in the coming days and for new episodes in 2018.

‘I find the subjects and experts are good for parents to hear too, said one listening parent. ‘The podcast raises many points  for conversations with my daughter.’

For more info or enquiries about UIO, write to info@sonjalewis.com

 

 

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Fourth Episode of UIO on Body Image Released

Body Image is a giant topic. Having recently read 1 Samuel 16-17 in which David prepares to conquer the giant, Goliath, I am humbled by my new personal trainer Laura Mile’s story of her commitment to maintaining a positive body image and helping others to do so, too.

Though literally, we’re talking apples and oranges, figuratively speaking, we are talking apples and apples, just a different variety. In other words, a giant is a giant, when we are trying to overcome it. And maintaining a positive body image is a huge subject not only for teenage girls but also for women, too.

Whether battling with disordered eating in the way of obesity or anorexia or bulimia or  a related illness, millions of Americans and Britons have unhealthy relations with food that cause dire consequences for their body and their perceptions of it.

And even when negative body image doesn’t manifest itself through eating habits, it tends to crop up in a number of other ways, such as negative self-talk, according to Laura who shares her views in the fourth episode of UIO: Your Body Image Inside Out.

Laura, pictured here as a teenager and years later as a young woman, points out the difference in truly embracing your body and accepting unhealthiness. An obese teenager, Laura admits that she didn’t always understand the dangers of obesity, which can lead to serious health problems.

But thirteen years into her journey of keeping fit and embracing her body, the personal trainer’s interview is a must listen to podcast for anyone who has had or has any issues with body image.  Check it out here on Soundcloud or listen on itunes, Stitcher or Tunein and do feel free to send your questions to Laura right here on info@sonjalewis.com

In the meantime, stay tuned for some straight talk on hair with Joy Miller, co-owner of the award winning Junior Green Hair and Beauty Salon in London, in two weeks. Just in time for a sizzling summer. What are you going to do with your hair? Ask Joy, right here on UIO: You Inside Out, the podcast for teenage girls.