Category: Teen Girls

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Finding My Voice

I am delighted to have guest blogger Zaqiya Cajee, the founder of SwopItUp, the clothing swop initiative in schools that is sweeping the country and giving teens a wonderful mechanism to do something about climate change. Check out what she has to say about finding her voice to get the word out about SwopItUp. And learn how to find your own voice for whatever it is that you are passionate about. 

While I had been feeling passionate about bringing positive change to the environment for some time, the first time I had the chance to speak out was in Feb 2019, and I’d just turned 16. I was at the Royal Geographic Society at an event on the impacts of Fast Fashion on the environment. In a lecture theatre room filled with attentive adults, the panellists had been discussing why fast fashion was bad, listing many of the problems (e.g. carbon emissions from production & water use from intensive farming practices), but not focusing on solutions, which really surprised me.

As I sat petrified, my heart practically beating out of my chest, I knew I had to push past the nervousness and let them know that I had a solution. I had to make everyone aware of SwopItUp, my clothing swop initiative in schools, that I believed had the potential to grow nationally or even internationally, keeping huge amounts of clothing in use for longer.  This would be teens tackling one contributor to climate change at scale.

And then I raised my voice, told the room about SwopItUp, and asked the panel for their ideas on how to get more people to engage with it.

Amazing result! It was so worth it, the rush of adrenaline I felt having spoken up,  and afterwards when I had people coming up to me congratulating me and networking with me.  This was a massive reward. SwopItUp was gaining momentum.

Next up was an invitation to speak at a parents eco event at a local secondary school. This was only a small crowd, but I started to learn my presentation style, and understand how to make it feel comfortable for me. I spoke for much longer this time and had some slides to support me, and the questions and feedback that I got at the end boosted my confidence even more.

In August, it was time to step in front of the camera. I wanted the world to be able to hear my message directly from me, so I set about creating a 30-second video explaining SwopItUp,  and highlighting our goals for the future. I uploaded it onto social media and was delighted with the response.

Importantly, it attracted the attention of the Head of Markettiers, a Broadcast PR agency in London, who offered to help me spread my story. They got me radio interviews on many stations, such as the BBC and Love Sport Radio among others.

Coming face to face with skilled journalists and in one instance, one that was a climate denialist, gave me opportunities to really make my case.  I can’t say it was all smooth sailing but I was prepared to fight back, of course, in the most diplomatic way possible.

From this, I’ve gone from strength to strength including being on panels (like Sustainable Fashion Festival), contributing Blog features (including this one) and addressing groups at Universities.

Upon reflection, I have come to understand that finding your own voice can be broken down into four simple steps:

Step 1: 

Determine what your passion is.  It needs to be something close to your heart. What is it you want to speak about?  Do some research on the topic to find similar people and events in your niche.

Step 2: 

Gain support.  This includes from friends and family but also find events in your niche, particularly ones where you can listen to other people present, but use the opportunity of question time to use your voice. This worked for me, though it took a little courage.

Alternatively,  network with other people at the event afterwards. This is a great way to learn a thing or two from the speakers but to also start to gain a little confidence in a low risk environment.

Step 3: 

Do a presentation to a small group on the subject that you are passionate about.

Step 4: 

Consider how to get your message out to a wider audience whether through the use of social media or through the networks and contacts you have already made. Don’t be scared to involve adults to make things happen for you, they are great at opening doors.

I have no regrets about taking those first steps as it has helped me to find my voice and to gain momentum for an organisation that I truly believe in.

So now it’s up to you to start on step 1 and make things happen. I wish you the best of luck.

Follow my journey on Instagram @zaqiyacajee.  Comment on my recent post and include #findingmyvoice so I can follow you on your journey in finding your own voice, Zaqiya x

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Women Shaping The Course of History

Anytime is a great time to celebrate the women in our lives, however, women are in the spotlight in March, not only with the celebration of International Women’s Day, but also Women’s History Month in the US and Mother’s Day in the UK (March 22).

While UIO podcast is dedicating this week to celebrating 10 inspiring women that have changed history, I thought it was a wonderful opportunity to celebrate a few fabulous women who have touched the course of my life, some of them I have admired from afar and others have been quite up close and personal. Certainly, there have been a few good men, too, but now is a perfect time to give women their props.

The first woman who had a great influence on me was my mother.  Not only was she a great nurturer, she was also a great role model. Through her, I learned the importance of independence. One of the few women of her times who worked outside of the home, she brought home more than the bacon. She brought home a way of thinking that set me on a path to dream beyond our front doorstep. And it was her sister who had dared to move a way, yet another fantastic woman who touched my life early on.   

Shaping History

From an educational standpoint, there were many, perhaps too many to name here, but one was my first grade teacher, a beautiful young African American woman, whose presence was enough to make me love school. And then there was a favourite professor in college (university) who unreservedly loved Maya Angelou so much that her fascination became contagious. If I had any doubts about becoming a writer, the doubts ended with my new love affair. And so, I began to read literature voraciously.

Still I wanted to try my hand at journalism. And interestingly enough it was an ambitious young woman who led me to my first newspaper job. Without her recommendation, it might have never happened. And yet another amazing female mentor encouraged me to go to New York. Without her I am fairly sure I would not have made the move.  And during my stint in New York, I was surrounded by amazing women, too many to name here, but two of them my bosses, opened many doors for me, left and right.

Admittedly, it was rare that I understood the positive influence that most of these women had on me when it was happening, but on one particular occasion, I was so impressed by one woman that I see her even today in my mind’s eye. I sort of know what she was wearing when I laid eyes on her, a silk blouse with a tailored suit, though I am sure I have changed the colour over the years. She stands tall in all of her colour, forever positively influencing me.

It was her message, without saying a word, that she was every woman, if you will, and therefore, I could be so, too. A change maker indeed and a history shaper, too. Even if her name never appears in a history book, it’s indelibly etched in my mind’s eye, like all the women who have touched me personally.

What a pleasure it is to celebrate women who have changed history globally and locally. Share your stories here in the spirit of celebration.

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Dealing With Anxiety On All Levels

So, what is making you anxious nowadays?  If you are anything like me, you might be thinking where shall I start? There is a mountain of worries on a world scale and sometimes equally as many on a local scale. Few will challenge that notion, but it’s the personal ones, if you ask me, that really get the adrenalin flowing.

And before you know it, you’ve had something beyond an adrenalin rush that makes you think you are having a medical emergency.

Been there and done that. That’s anxiety, this feeling of unease, like a worry or a fear. Unfortunately, it happens to us all from time to time and to some people it happens perpetually.  In other words, bouts of anxiety range from mild to severe and when anxiety is severe, it is usually then considered a specific condition and treated as such in the best-case scenario.

But here is the thing. Anxiety comes under the umbrella of emotional and mental health, whether it is mild or severe.  And just as we can do things to maintain good physical health, we can do the same with mental health.  And when more severe mental health problems arise, we can get  help just as we do with a severe physical illness.

I’ve been fortunate enough to do three podcasts around mental health, one of them specifically on social anxiety, a more severe form of anxiety. Check out our podcast, On Social Anxiety, with Claire Eastham, who suffers from social anxiety, for a better understanding of what it is and what it is not. As Claire says, it is not a fear of people, it is an overwhelming fear of being judged by other people so much so that you isolate yourself.

In any case, I’ve learned a lot from all three podcasts on the matter and have gleaned some tips from the interviews, research and personal experience.  Let’s start with how to maintain good mental health to ward against anxiety.

  • Understand your anxiety. Call a spade a spade. The minute you do this it loses its power. This is one of the best tips I have ever received, and it just so happens it came from Laura Miles, guest on Your Body Image Inside Out.
  • Make time for your worry. That’s right! Give it its props, isolate it and move on.
  • Face the things you want to avoid. Claire Eastham points out that if you don’t anxiety wins.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts. That’s a biggie and goes hand in hand with positive self-talk.  Cheryl Grace talks about the importance of this in Your Confidence Inside Out.
  • Shift your focus. Get practical and physical by doing something you enjoy which relaxes the mind, such as yoga, running, or even journaling.
  • Talk about It. A problem shared is a problem halved. 

What about getting help when anxiety becomes more severe and interferes in your daily life.

  • Realise it is not your fault; it is a condition.
  • Reach out to adults/counsellors, people with more experience in the area.
  • Get a diagnosis, if at all possible. Once you know what it is, it is possible to then treat it, as you would a physical illness.
  • Care for yourself. Lots of options here including eating right, getting enough sleep, and managing the time you spend on social media.
  • Talk to someone you trust. It is important to give the negative feelings airtime so that they don’t stay buried in your mind.

So, whether it is mild or severe, anxiety can be managed for a happier and healthier life experience.  Again, check out UIO podcast for more tips.

 

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What You Say To Yourself Really Matters

Self-talk has a major impact on who we are and also on who we become, whether the talk is good or bad.  What we say to ourselves has a lot to do with our self-esteem, our self-confidence.

This truth hit home for me recently when I had the horrible accident with my middle right finger, an experience which taught me a lot about my character.  See my blog of January 31, Drawing On Unknown Character Strengths.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, my finger was stuck in a garage door for about 20 minutes, putting my entire person under great duress. And all I could think when that door clamped down on my finger was how stupid I had been to use my hand to try to manually close the door. 

What a weakening thought, which made me feel useless and hopeless, and certain that I would lose my finger all for being stupid, but thankfully, the good self-talk overrode and pushed the menacing thoughts back. It was an accident, the part of me who knew we needed strength to overcome, pointed out and from there,  my confidence to survive the trauma with my finger intact rose greatly.

In our podcast, UIO: Your Confidence Inside Out Cheryl Grace stresses the importance of positive self-talk not only when in a pinch but also on an ongoing basis. To this end, she mentions encouraging herself daily with self-love while getting dressed. 

I love this idea and though I am not disciplined enough to employ this tool every day, there are plenty of days when positive self-talk makes the difference in a good day or a bad one. For example, the other day when I had to get through some work that had lots to do with numbers (a budget for UIO), the negative self-talk got in there first (while I was getting dressed) and reminded me that I was really quite bad at budgeting, thus it was going to be a really horrible day. Why didn’t I just put it off for yet another day or not bother at all.

And just as I was giving in to the chiding, it suddenly occurred to me that though budgeting is not my thing, I am actually not that bad at it and I am married to an accountant who is more than willing to help out with the spreadsheets, the bit I really don’t like.

With this self-talk, I felt myself perk up and as I headed to my desk, I looked forward to getting the task off my plate, a very different feeling to dreading a task. It is done, though the spreadsheet is still hanging. Never mind.

Also, in the podcast Your Confidence Inside Out, Cheryl points out the importance of not saying things to yourself that you would not say to a friend.  A great rule of thumb for self-talk indeed. If a friend had called me up and said my finger is stuck in a garage door, there is no way I would have called her stupid, even if I was thinking it. The point is the nurturer kicks in when it comes to being encouraging to others. This same nurturer needs to stay close to self at all times, on an ongoing basis, if you will.

So, the next time you get the urge to tell yourself how stupid you are or how unflattering you look, think again. And remember that your self-talk has the ability to inform your experience, your day, your life.

In UIO: On Personal Development, Robyn Spens points out the importance of not only believing that you are enough but telling yourself as often as you can.

This rule stands even when you are down. So instead of focusing on the downside, focus on the upside.  As for me, though I am still going through a slow healing process, the upside is that I have my finger, which rightly or wrongly is tied to my confidence to do a lot of things—one of them  is writing.

Thank goodness for positive self-talk. Check out our podcasts Your Confidence Inside Out and On Personal Development for more tips on the matter. Both podcasts are available wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Keeping It Safe On The Internet

For this week’s blog, I have adapted our October 24, 2019 entry, as it is still as relevant now as it was then and with so much emphasis on staying safe on the internet this week, it makes sense to reflect.

Here we go….  Lots to be said about internet safety. Our  podcast featuring Charlotte Aynsley, e-safety pioneer and expert,  sheds a whole lot of light on the topic as do many other platforms.  Last year, I attended an inaugural lecture of a law professor at King’s College, London, who talked about the importance of Internet Regulation the world over.

But here is the thing, is the message really sinking in, particularly with our teenagers?

After all the Internet is the global hangout, full of wonderful opportunities. What could go wrong? Back in the summer of last year, I actually heard a young boy say something to that nature—why would it be on the Internet if it is bad—and according to On Internet Safety guest Aynsley, this child is not the only one who thinks that way. There are many children growing up believing that everything on the Internet is true and right.

Though this might sound naïve, it makes a whole lot of sense to the young person whose internet experience is all positive until it isn’t. In the UK, the legal age for having a social media account is 13, though about 24% of children have accounts when they are 10 and twice as many when they turn 12.

A few years ago, a hysterical acquaintance shared that her underage daughter was asked to undress over the Internet.  But thankfully it was all curtailed before any damage was done. But what if it hadn’t been stopped.

Sadly, everyone’s story doesn’t have the same ending as my acquaintance’s daughter had, and mainly because few teenagers are aware of the emotional and mental impact that sharing sexually explicit images can have on them, their friends or others or that sexting, as it is called, is criminal if you are under the age of 18. 

Admittedly, this issue is not being policed as strictly as it could be, Aynsley points out, but all the same, consequences can lead to emotional and mental unrest and cause dire consequences for the future.

Another top issue that holds problems for teenagers online is body image, which impacts  girls disproportionately. The pressure on them to be perfect and happy all the time, as told to us by our two teen girls in On Being A Teen Girl Now, is magnified on social media.  Through polished selfies, this aim for perfection goes well beyond looks and enters how our teen girls are feeling about themselves.

Hence the rise in mental health issues amongst this age group. The key is education, Aynsley says and points out that transparency and honest and real life role models and experiences are of paramount importance.

And this honesty doesn’t just rest with the teenagers themselves, it has to live with parents and guardians, social media companies, the government, the police, everyone.

Staying safe on the internet, which can be a wonderful place, requires a joint effort to not only be aware of the problems stacked against us, particularly children and teenagers, but also be willing to tackle the issues.

The good news is that our podcast clears up the confusion around these tough topics and offers teenagers and their guardians practical tools and tips on the matters.  Listen to On Internet Safety on Apple podcasts and other platforms where podcasts are played.

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Talking About Mental Health: The Brave Thing To Do

Though I initially wondered if the campaign team for Children’s Mental Health Week meant ‘Find your courage’  instead of ‘Find your brave’ for this year’s theme (my brain was stuck on nouns instead of thinking outside of the box), I am truly struck by the depth of the words.

The phrase really does create an opportunity to not only step up to the plate in a big situation,  but to do so in what might seem the smallest of matters, too, like, for example, acknowledging that something isn’t right mentally and emotionally and then talking to a trusted person about it.

For instance, as a teenager when I might have somehow been left out of a circle,  whether it was intentional or not, I felt quite upset about it but kept it all inside and in hindsight, I can now see how keeping quiet might have impacted my self-worth, my emotional health, putting a blight on my teen experiences. 

Still, to express my feelings about what seemed a small matter was a tall order. Quite frankly, it’s a tall order even for an adult sometimes, let alone for a child. Situations can be misunderstood and misconstrued, making matters worse. No wonder so many people keep quiet. No one wants to be chastised or isolated.

For me, this low keyed approached lasted well until a few years ago. Only after I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), that I opened up about my own mental health. Sure, I was quick to see the problems of others, but I found it extremely difficult to see my own issues and talk about them, no matter how small or large.

For instance, while caring for my mother, who had a long-term illness, I often felt beyond depressed and so emotionally tired that I could feel it deep within my bones. I just made it a norm and kept it all in. Reflecting, I wonder if unmanaged grief, along with other stresses, led to GAD.

But with the diagnosis I began to see mental health for what it really is—equally as important and urgent as physical health.  In our latest podcast Series 3: Episode 6 – On Social Anxiety, Claire Eastham talks about the importance of understanding this and getting a diagnosis but as her own story shows,  getting help is not always straight forward.  It is often not only the individual suffering, who might be in denial, but also those around might dismiss the problem or misunderstand it, too.

For example, people with social anxiety are often confused as shy or eccentric, so no wonder they find it difficult to acknowledge or talk about the issue. Furthermore, being pigeonholed or ostracised can have a major impact on self-esteem, robbing the sufferer of the confidence to talk about the condition.

That was certainly my experience as a teenager and when caring for my mother. In the podcast, Claire has some brilliant tips on dealing with social anxiety specifically and one of them is to remember that it isn’t your fault. This tip lends itself to all mental health issues. Understanding this might lead to the willingness to rethink the issue and reach out for help.

Finding the nerves to say something that needs to be said is very much about finding your brave.  What a powerful theme for all of us–adults, teenagers and children alike.

For more resources on mental health, check out our other related podcasts as well: Series 1: Episode 6 – Your Mind Inside Out and Series 2: Episode 2 – On Undiagnosed Mental Illness. Listen to UIO wherever you listen to podcasts or subscribe to our rss feed.

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Drawing on Unknown Character Strengths

Believe in Yourself

Here we are the last day of January 2020 and the year feels weighty and heavy in so many ways already, with huge challenges the world over from Australia to China and change in the UK and tragedy in the US and many other places.

When the chips are down, it is so easy to look down and stumble but thankfully we are spirited people, if you will.  At the worst of times, we often find the will to pull through, drawing on character strengths we didn’t even know we had.

Nearly three weeks ago, I found myself in such a time as this.  Let me tell you about it:

On a rainy Saturday, I flew to the US (Albany, GA) to surprise my father for his 85th birthday and a surprise party and set out to have a relatively normal time—cooking for him and so on. 

But calm turned into a sort of storm on Monday morning shortly after I exited the house to pick him up for a treatment he gets regularly.  Seconds after I tried to release the garage door from the keypad on the wall to no avail, my US phone ring and a happy baby sister was on the other end of the line, just checking in to chat as she drove to an offsite meeting (she is a teacher).  A great feeling washed over me to hear from her and also, I knew she would know what to do. Quickly she ascertained that the door not opening was a local problem because the twin door opened as normal. Still I had to spring the car and she had just the solution: to use the emergency cord and presto, the door went up and I reversed the car out.

Still on the phone with Chanta, I hopped out of the car, the engine running, and used my might and power, my right hand to pull down the ailing door. Unbeknownst to me, my hand was in the crease of one of the door panels as it folded to close and with all the power of a garage door it closed on three of my fingers and I yanked and saved two of them (though they got scrapped) but my middle finger did not escape. Trapped. 

My scream was loud and sudden and Chanta’s concern matched it, getting me off the line in an instant and calling 911 (same as 999).  In the next few minutes, I launched at least five prayers, asking for strength to lift the door with my left hand, followed by the act of trying to no avail. Alas, I prayed for the resolve to endure the situation.  And following this prayer, I too called 911.

For 20 minutes or perhaps more, I talked to the EMS operator, explaining there was no blood and yes there was some pain and a bit of a giddy feeling and then I had a practical moment where I talked out how to save myself and my finger in the event that I fainted. All I could think was that my head would  hit the asphalt and part of my finger would be left in the door. So, I dropped on my knees in my London best (Ultra Suede trousers and Jimmy Choo flats) and leaned my body against the door.  I sort of remember explaining this, but as I was likely delirious, who knows.

I do remember being asked if I was having trouble breathing, as I was intentionally taking deep breaths to avoid a panic attack. In my state of shock, all I could think was stay calm, there is nothing you can do but stay here until help comes, so with all the adrenalin my body could muster up, that’s what I did as the EMS operator assured me that firemen and paramedics were on the way. 

As they closed in, I heard the sirens and imagined them trying to drive the fire truck around the house. I told the operator to tell them that they had to leave the truck, the driveway was too narrow and suddenly three beautiful men (looked like angels) burst on the scene bearing at least one crow bar but in the end, it was the brain that came through when one of them used the garage opener in my dad’s car to release the twin door and then release the one I was trapped in and as it went up panel after panel, I had a weak moment.

“It is not going to let my finger go,” I cried out meekly and just as I said “It is not opening” it did and out my finger came, the tip really white and as flat as a spoon.

No, we did not photograph it and no I am not making it up, though I have written fiction.  Dizzily I ambled over to the car, ushered by one of the firemen, who looked as relieved as I did. I remember accounts of saved fingers and fears of surgery and then more sirens and the paramedics and my sisters rushing to the scene.  More angels!

Then came the flood of tears and an awkward hug bestowed upon one of my sisters; maybe I was checking that I was really alive. But still I was relatively calm, now feeling more embarrassed than anything. I rambled about how stupid I felt even though the paramedics and the firemen reminded me it was an accident and that actually I was far from stupid, having come out with my finger.

It was not until I was in the ambulance, on the stretcher, with an IV in my arm, feeling faint, that I grasped the danger of the situation. As my blood pressure bottomed out twice, the ambulance tore down the street, screaming towards the hospital. Then all the frightened (internal) troops begin to march in, heckling me. Thankfully, the brave, patient ones had held them off when it was most necessary and again proceeded to push them away.

To cut to the chase, after a bit of bureaucracy I was in and out of emergency in three hours or less with a very bruised and contused finger—no broken bones, no deformities, no long-term implications—just a slow and painful healing process that has slowed me down immensely (my finger feels like a hard shell at best and nerve pains fire off when least expected).  The good news is that I learned about lots of character strengths that I didn’t even know I had.

While I would not repeat the situation for all the Jimmy Choo’s in London and that is a lot of shoes, I am feeling blessed to have incurred limited physical damage and to have come through ahead of the game emotionally and mentally, too.  Yas!

So, though the year has started out heavy, it’s good to know that what’s inside is often enough to pull through but it also contains the stuff you are really made of. Unbelievable.

Oh, and yes, a special thanks to the 911 operator for comforting me, the three firemen who sprung me and the wonderful two paramedics who took care of me and rushed me to the hospital.  Amazing! Not one time did they consider it a small matter. The world is better for their likes. Blessed!

 

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Exciting Beginnings: Embracing Yourself for a Happy New Year

This morning while waiting for a prescription I overheard an elderly woman ask with reticence, “Is it really 2020?” The middle aged female pharmacist smiled and nodded and touched the lady’s hand lightly, as she signed whatever was before her.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself, having had similar thoughts now for the last nine days. Is it really  a New Year. Where has the year gone? What does it all mean?

Lots to think about, yeah? And sometimes the thoughts can get crushed or twisted amid the the hype and celebration,  which almost always focuses on resolving to do something or other.

Admittedly, I have never been big on the hype and pressure around making New Year’s resolutions, not because I am a kill joy contrary to some belief, but because I tend to be more of a realist than an idealist.

Instead of focusing on kicking all the bad habits that I have acquired over the year or resolving to fix something in a few weeks that has taken far more time to break, I tend to enjoy  the flavour of the New Year, rather than to get bogged down in the pressures of it.

I have always thought there was something exciting about a new beginning, something which encapsulates the tenderness of youth, something which holds promise and therefore, refreshes and invigorates the spirit. And New Years and Birthdays both have such characteristics.

And though I have spent every single day of this year thus far with a horrible head cold,  I am somehow feeling refreshed and ready for the excitement ahead, not only for what it means for UIO podcast, but also what the new beginning means for teenage girls.

Last year, we added six new podcasts and interviewed some amazing women on the key issues including empowering girls and we are looking forward to getting out even more stimulating, timely and relevant podcasts this year. Also, I watched stories come in from near and far about girl power, how many of you are excelling in sports, academics and activism and so many of you laid the foundations in 2019 to take on new challenges and influence change for years to come. And that is just the beginning.

Just think what you will have accomplished by the end of the year. I am thinking about what is ahead for UIO, too, but let us not  think too long and hard: let’s keep it moving.  Otherwise, we’ll  be asking ourselves the very question I started this blog off with: Where has the year gone?

Thankfully, it’s only just begun. Forget about those fleeing and self-defeating resolutions. Embrace yourself and have a Happy New Year. For more inspirational advice, check out On Girls’ Rights with Lindsey Turnbull.

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The Future Is Bright, The Future Is Female

I am thrill to share this space with Charlotte Harding and Bex Bastable, two journalists living and working in Sussex and Hampshire with a passion for sharing stories and empowering the next generation of fearless females.  To this end, the two set up Generation Tribe  to inspire and empower teenage girls and young women. Both are the eldest of ‘sister tribes’ and want to use their elder-sibling skills in paving the way to help a wider community of girls. 

Do check out the story behind Generation Tribe. 

In today’s modern world we are all surrounded by images on social media of people living their best lives and it can make you feel a bit ‘less than’. We want to offer young people a place away from selfies and weight loss tips.

We think many young women struggle with self-esteem, confidence and anxiety, particularly around their futures. That’s why we wanted to create a space where teenagers can read stories of women who have been in their shoes but have gone out and created a life they love.

We think it’s important to show girls lots of examples of people who have succeeded in their careers and create a community where successful women are accessible and seen by the younger generation. This is the website that we wish we had had when we were growing up.

We feature career success stories of women who have been where our readers have, at a crossroads not knowing what lies ahead beyond school. There are stories from a digital compositor in visual effects (VFX) and animation working on films such as Harry Potter and Star Wars, a speech therapist, someone who worked a summer at Disney World Florida, a newspaper editor, X-Factor contestants band Four of Diamonds dancer who appeared on Strictly and many, many more.

As well as success stories, we feature relationship advice, budgeting tips and guides on living sustainably, whether it’s ethical and natural beauty products or lowering your carbon footprint.

Also, talking about mental health is really important to us.  We have both shared our stories of dealing with our own mental health including anxiety and going to counselling. It is important to break down the taboos. And we have features from Childline looking at a number of issues from how to keep safe online to how to leave an unhealthy relationship.

We started using our own networking of women, but as the website has grown we have moved beyond this and are amazed with the amount of women who have reached out to us.

And while we are aware that no career is set in stone we also want to show young women and teenage girls that just because when you were at school you opted for one career doesn’t mean as you get older you have to stick with it. If you want to go down another career path that is completely fine.

We believe the future is bright, the future is female. So why don’t you Join our Tribe.

www.generationtribe.co.uk

Twitter @Join_OurTribe

Facebook @GenerationTribe

Instagram @GenerationTribeUK

 

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Embracing You: The Spirit of Identity

Embrace your identity uiopodcast

Now is the time to embrace your identity but it isn’t always easy to do so. To this end, I am delighted to adapt and repost this blog from August last year on the tough topic.  Check it out along with our podcast on the subject to as you embrace yourself for a great holiday season.

Identity is one of those things that is always there from birth–we get many tags if you will–a gender, a race and nationality, a weight, a health check and eventually a name and all sorts of abilities and so on. Still, as if it has never been there before identity, as a huge concept, pops up on the teenage radar screen with blinking red lights: Warning! Warning! This is your gender, your sexuality, your race, your ability and here is what it means.

The pressure is on to identify with different parts of you and if there is an internal clash or negative connotations about something you identify with, this can cause problems.  It is important to make the point that identity and mental health are linked, if only because clashes and negativity can cause anxiety, worries and so on.

In some instances, anxiety and stress can escalate into depression, even self-harm. And even in the majority of instances when it doesn’t escalate, the stress over identity is to be taken seriously. At the very least, bad moods and low self-esteem can set in.

And though it is easy to say don’t worry about it, that is easier said than done. It has taken me many years to really understand this and even now I have my moments. Rachita Saraogi and Rebecca Thomson, in our  UIO: Your Identity Inside Out podcast, advise not owning the negativity, leaving it with the people who perpetuate it. You might not be able to change them, but you can change your views on how you view yourself, who you are.

That’s the spirit!

Reflecting on my teenage years, I remember obsessing a lot about hair— its length, its texture and so on. While I can’t say that I have ever consciously disliked my hair for its texture or length, I was not immune to beliefs about Afro hair, if you will, the talk about good hair and bad hair.

Admittedly, there were times in my life when I wanted a certain hairstyle because it was popular and considered the highest mark of beauty. For example, long straight hair was the in thing but as I wasn’t in charge of my hair, my mother was, I didn’t get it.

I doubt if it had anything to do with the political belief that relaxed hair is somehow symbolic of a European standard of beauty. Her reasoning more or less had to do with growing up too fast and economics.

Nowadays, many teen girls have returned to natural hair, as part of a resurgence of the natural hair movement in black communities around the globe, which proposes that hair is healthier for the individual physically and mentally in its natural state.  Furthermore, some believe that natural hair suggests a stronger sense of identity with one’s heritage and straight hair suggests the opposite.

Though I don’t agree with the line of thinking, I think it is wonderful to see teen girls and women with Afro hair in its natural state—the ponytails, the braids, the Afros, but just the same I love seeing hair in all of its versatility as long as it is healthy and well maintained.  That is what is key for me and mainly why I continue to relax my hair—it is either for me to maintain, though I have worn braids over the years, returning my hair to its natural state and in high school, I sported an Afro.

Regardless of style, I identify strongly with my hair and what I have learned about this over the years is that it is mine, part of my beauty, part of my health, and rightly or wrongly it is a big, big, big part of my self-esteem. Thus, regardless of trends, movements, beliefs, politics, I need to be happy with my hair—not the world.

And nowadays, I don’t make any excuses or apologies for that. End of story. Underneath the hair is where my real identity lies and it is up to me to embody that. That’s the spirit!  For tips, check out Your Identity Inside Out.