Category: On Lifestyle

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Perspective In The Eye Of The Beholder

And I thought my packages were extravagant–beautifully wrapped boxes from Net-a-porter, Matchesfashion.com, Harrods, etc.– until I saw the brightly coloured Lamborghini delivered to my neighbourhood recently.

On my way back from an hour of much needed training, I was contemplating my soreness and how I might convince myself to return to my computer to write (as I haven’t written for weeks, owing to stress masquerading as writer’s block) when I saw this expensive spectacle being backed off of a truck.

As I fixed my eyes upon it, suddenly fathomable prose struck me with an exciting force. Not that I hadn’t anything to write about before laying eyes on this car. There is plenty of that.

From the London restaurant where the tables have built in computers to order one’s dinner to the magnificent Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty exhibition at the V & A, I have been a girl about town lately. Not to mention the enthralling yet dark play, The Nether, at the Duke of York theatre, focusing on life without consequences. Disastrous! Not the play, which is rather brilliant, even if it is haunting.

Anyhow, that’s three more blogs to come, but with stress addiction (to be explored in a Huff Post blog surely) I was stymied until I saw the Lamborghini.

Enchanted as I was, I moved past the car rather quickly and into my concierge to pick up my own package, which Paul ought to put into perspective now surely, don’t you think. And then back outside, I glimpsed the owner zipping into the parking garage.

Up to the truck driver I strolled and confirmed that it was indeed a Lamborghini since I don’t always get my cars right but I do remember a friend of mine pointing out years ago that ‘the darn thing has wings.’

Anyhow, the truck driver smiled in confirmation, albeit staring quizzically, perhaps wondering if I was a groupie of sorts of if I lived in a hole somewhere. So glad to be a writer again, I dispelled any groupie myths and moved along, knowing that on some level he must have known that I had seen my fair share of such cars in London. Who hasn’t? From Lambos to Aston Martins to Bentleys, they are all here.

At one point certain posh hooligans had to be fined heavily for drag racing along Piccadilly. Never mind this. The point is I had never seen one delivered or witnessed the owner admire it, accept it and take possession of it so to speak.

Something about this experience got me thinking coherently again. Although the car is lavish by most standards, it reiterated something to me about perspective—it is in the eye of the beholder.

With that thought, I tore into my rather modest package–shush it’s a Sophie Hulme handbag. Let’s hope Paul agrees. Regardless, there’s more to come soon, that is writing. Well, maybe packages, too.

 

 

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Expats Remembers Easter Sweetly and Fashionably, Too

Eggs have been long associated with Easter. When I was a girl, I remember the excitement building up to the Easter egg hunt at our church in Southwest Georgia and the pleasure of at last participating in it and finding beautifully coloured eggs, some of them I had managed to colour personally alongside my mother, father and siblings.

Most folks in the Western world, Christian or not, will have Easter memories, be it of bonnets, baskets, eggs, new outfits, etc., if only because it has been long celebrated widely and officially as a holiday in some places.

Yes outfits… In some African American traditions, not only were there the Easter egg hunts but also there were new Easter outfits for both boys and girls to make the big day even more special, as we recited Easter speeches for special programmes at church. Not to mention the Easter baskets full of toys and candy eggs.

Admittedly, I’m too old for an Easter basket but just the right age for a new outfit. Thankfully, there’s  still time to get that Easter dress after all. Why start breaking with tradition now. No point.

Here, however, at the mention of new frock at Easter,  people are surprised, pleasantly I hope. While many of them are off to the continent or somewhere to soak up some sun as there is not much here, others are planning Easter feasts with family and friends at home or at a restaurant of choice.

After all they have four days to celebrate. Not only is Good Friday an official holiday but so is Easter Monday. That means lots of opportunities to make Easter memories for sure and eats lots of eggs, albeit chocolate ones.

I’ll have one of those thank you very much, but it has to be the dark chocolate ganache from La Maison du Chocolat, sold during the Easter period only, although this year they’ve mixed dark and milk chocolate, just about ruining it for me. Hence, one dark chocolate egg left. But chocolate is not what Easter is all about anyhow, is it?

Truly it is about rebirth and renewal and making ever so sweet memories with family and friends.

 

 

 

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Expat Goes North for Castle Scouting

Britain is known for its stupendous castles, the world over. From Windsor to Warwick Castle, such fortresses are still home to modern day royals, their kinsfolks and the likes. Thankfully, however, they make certain areas available to the rest of us at different times of the year.

Reflecting back to the late 90s when I first came to live in England, I made castle hopping, including a few palaces, a pastime of sorts. Not only was it great fun but also it was a rich historical expedition, if you will.

In those days, even if we did dine at Amberley Castle in Sussex quite often, I still couldn’t help wonder what it would be like to live in a castle, at least for a day or two. Fast forward to this past weekend and Paul and I flew to Northumberland to find out just that. Planning well in advance for a festive event in 2016, we made Langley Castle our home for the weekend. Well, sort of anyhow.

It so happens that we stayed in a more modern castle view room on the grounds of Langley with a view to reconnoitre the facility for our upcoming event. Not a problem at all because many castles have become seasoned hoteliers.

Langley is one of several of Britain’s castles that has done so, and like it, many castles have rooms available within the castle and extension rooms on the grounds, too.

So off to the grounds we went, admiring two extraordinary peacocks with coats fit for a king, and three or more attractive peahens. From this vantage point, we got a pretty good impression of the castle, even dinning there and admiring its 14th century décor, but when the manager gave us a guided tour, we were more than impressed, as we viewed the well appointment rooms in the castle, including those where events are held.

Has the scouting ended? Who is to say? Also, we did check out nearby Otterburn Castle. In meantime, we made a stop at Hadrian’s Wall, where we would surely do more than stop if we do celebrate in this area. And before returning to the airport in Newcastle on Sunday, we visited Alnwick Castle and Gardens.Splendid but it does not offer boarding. In fact, it wasn’t offering anything when we were there but the tourist season kicks off soon, if it already hasn’t.

And I am jolly glad it has with this inclement weather lingering around. Castle hopping might just be the thing to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Expat Exercises for Re-entry to Life in London

Years ago when I worked for Habitat for Humanity International, re-entry was a phrase often used of the International Partners, staff returning from a work trip abroad. It stands to reason that after being away from a country, one needs to re-adapt to the culture, etc.

An expat of nearly twenty years, I can attest to that. Casually, I often use the word re-entry when returning to the US, even sometimes stopping over for a night or two in a city of choice, before joining friends and/or family for a good down home visit.

Only on this last visit, however, somewhat made in haste, even if it did last over two weeks, I didn’t have time to think about adjusting to time zones, water, food, language and so on. I hit the ground running, literally and didn’t stop rushing around until after I returned to the UK.

It was then that I began to think of re-entry, if you will. Suddenly, my body was no longer tolerant of the few hours of sleep I got each night, the paces that I put it through daily or the inappropriate food I lived on, including honeybuns and coffee cake, most days.

This past Monday, the cinnamon brioche, the English honeybun I teased to a friend, did not cut the cake. Suddenly, I am gluten intolerant again. Furthermore, I acutely understand the value of daily exercise again – something I didn’t bother with at all in the US.

Yet this morning while exercising, even if it was challenging, I felt a freedom that I hadn’t felt it more than two weeks. That is when it occurred to me that exercise was somehow freeing. And I quietly said to my personal trainer, Judit Ressinka, that if only I could get her to the US to do at least one session with each of my sisters, I felt certain that they too could experience the freedom that I was experiencing.

Judit felt that I was on to something. Though exercise is often associated with alleviating physical stress, it also has the power to alleviate mental turmoil, too. When going through a particularly stressful time, I pointed out, we are trapped in a small world, which drives us, and keeps us on a bumpy road.

Exercise, Judit agreed, makes for a smoother ride, if you will. It has a way of getting the blood and oxygen flowing, properly and harmoniously.

Of course, one session won’t cut the cake, any more than my cinnamon brioche did, but a consistent programme will make a big difference in how the body endures.

Even I am truant from time to time like the two weeks in the US, no doubt the rigorous programme of training once per week with Judit and running three times, sees me through arduous times.

Now back to re-entry. What’s for supper?

 

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Keeping It Light in the New Year

Imagine hoisting a rucksack over your shoulder and walking into the New Year with it, only it. Is it too heavy, too light or just right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s a few days late for such advice, but bear with, if you will.

Now sit at your favourite table, desk or on the floor in front of the fireplace, wherever you are most comfy and cosy, and sort through the items.

Umm, how did this get there and what about that? You don’t need them anymore, do you? In fact, you probably thought you got rid of this and that a long time ago. I know the feeling but we needn’t worry. It is never too late to dispense of the unwanted tangibles and intangibles, too. The latter often weigh more than the former.

I should know as a few years ago I had one frozen shoulder after another. Medically, it was chalked up to carrying too much physical weight but psychologically, I was likely carrying too much emotional weight, too.

Thus I am pleased to say that I left excess emotional baggage in 2014, even if I do have to remind myself now and again, and some physical weight too. On that note, just before Christmas I had a clearing of some coats, more needed by others than me, and some clothing and some shoes. And truly felt lighter for it.

So, let me see what is left in this rucksack that I really need.

 

  1. Wonderful, I see my Nike Fuel Band is here, despite the best advice from the Sunday Times Style magazine. So yesterday, they say. Never! For me, it is still very much today.
  1. Thank Goodness, my Cloud Nine hair straightener (curling iron) is here. Not that my cosmetologist approves of us amateurs brandishing any straighteners, but let’s face it, it is better to have one with heat controls than one without. Not having one is not an option, at least not for me.
  1. I am thrilled to see my Mac liquid eyeliner. I happened upon this jewel while getting my make-up done professionally last year and I’m hanging onto it for a while yet. The size of a big crayon, even a novice could handle it. Go figure!
  1. Oh no, my Stella McCartney round shaped blue sunglasses are not here. Okay, so they are truly yesterday, not because of style, but because of wonkiness. Happily, however, in the January sales I found similar ones from The Row. Long may the look last.
  1. So glad to see my Ipad 3 here, even if it is a bit on the heavy side. I still feel lighter for it.
  1. Thankfully, there is my Anya Hindmarch satchel. No wonder the rucksack was a bit heavy. But who needs a rucksack when they have this bag.

There, that’s about all the tangibles that I really need, save for a few odd bits here and there, but surely they’ll fit into the bag, too. As for the intangibles, that I am keeping, that is, they are fairly light, too. In other words they are wonderfully bright.

Oh, and Paul has reminded me that I brought him, too. After all, someone has to help me keep it light. Anyhow, my satchel feels just right now. Off to living well I go.

So, just what did you bring into the New Year, that is, that’s just right for you?

 

 

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Eight New Years Renewal Tips

Whether you are twenty something, fifty something or an age somewhere in between, your goals and aspirations are likely wide-awake about now, maybe even keeping you awake at night. Not surprisingly, another New Year is on the horizon.

Hence the hype around New Year’s resolutions: everybody should make some to ensure a good start to 2015, right? Not to mention all the things that should happen on New Year’s Day, including special foods to eat, etc. Wrong, I don’t buy into any of it, not really. But I do believe a New Year is a wonderful opportunity to refresh one’s life.

And in doing so, it doesn’t hurt to have a few pointers, not only handy around this time of year, but also any time the sense to renew presides. Here we go:

 

 

  • Don’t get caught up into what you should do. Each person is different when it comes to dealing with love, loss and life. There are great tips and practices for getting over a break-up, for example, and for losing weight, too. But there is no one size fits all formula. The key is to move on in the way that is best for you.
  • Stay in the moment. This means letting go of past hurts and pains. For example, if not having children causes upset, focus on what you do have. Otherwise, you’re trapped in the past.
  • Govern your thoughts. You will need to do so consistently, certainly, to enjoy a positive present. For example, if you’re holding a grudge, let it go. Otherwise, you become a victim or a prisoner. Both ways of being are irresponsible. Go ahead take responsibility.
  • Understand the difference between experiencing emotionality and feelings. According to some experts emotions are toxic. Here! Here! They are simply repressed feelings that have not been expressed. So the next time that you respond ever so emotionally to something, anything, recognise that there might be more than meets the eye. Experiencing true feelings, on the other hand, is safe to do so. You are able to express differences without a dark cloud hanging over the matter.
  • Re-learn to love yourself. Sounds easy but not necessarily so. Loving one’s self means taking gentle care, both physically and mentally. Often this means saying no to unhealthy relations, foods, etc. For example, if you feel unimportant a bit too often, rely on the love within. And once you tap into it, you will have a better chance at loving others healthily, too.
  • Give! This doesn’t necessarily mean writing out a check to a charity of your choice or anyone else for that matter. Not everyone can but most of us can give a smile, kind words, a helping hand or even a good attitude to family, friends, work colleagues, etc.
  • And learn to receive, too. Giving people are often the worst receivers and without knowing can make their givers feel rejected. Receiving is as much about acceptance as it is anything else. So this year when a friend or family member compliments you or gives you something, accept it, and accept them.
  • And lastly, be patient yet persistent. Once you begin to feel re-energised in different aspects of your life, remember that it takes practice to form patterns, ways of being. Take it one day at a time, even moment by moment, which is all any of us have anyhow.

Refreshing realistic, yeah! All there is to do now is to just do it – one experience at a time! Happy New Year to all!

 

 

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Breathing Through The Holidays Easily

Niagara Falls is breathtakingly beautiful, even when it is cloudy and a bit wet.  Refreshing, isn’t it.  In route to the US for Thanksgiving, Paul and I had the opportunity to stop off in Canada and visit with good friends and also see some of the natural beauty of the country, such as the Falls.

What a wonderful opportunity to slow down, somewhat, and catch  my breath, which got me thinking about the art of breathing, if you will. Although breathing comes naturally, thank goodness, too often we lose sight of how important it is to breathe slowly and deeply, which might require some skill, that is, if we have lost touch.

Without skill and practice, our breathing often goes on a high-speed treadmill with the rest of life, even more so during the festive season. Not to panic, however, I have just the thing for getting off the fast track and reconnecting with your breathe.

Check out my latest Huff Post blog, hot off the press, just in time to breathe through the holidays. Have a nice and easy Christmas and New Year, too.

 

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Celebrating Different Types of Friendship

As far back as I can remember I’ve had friends, whether they were the kids next door or cousins living in a nearby town. In any case, friends are a huge part of life, whether we are young or old or somewhere in between.

“I feel like true friendship (is not to dissimilar to marriage) where  through the ups and downs, a commitment is in place for the duration,'” says my BFF.

So, so, so true, isn’t it? Still, sadly some friendships don’t last, aren’t necessarily true friendships perhaps, at least not forever. They come and they go, depending on the situation. For my latest Huff Post blog, I reflect on situational friendships, what they are, the importance of acknowledging and celebrating them and then letting them go and allowing them to rest well in the history books of life, your life.

And in the meantime, celebrate those lasting friendships too, even if it is only now and again. After all, it is the effort that counts when it comes to sustaining a friendship, the conscious effort that is. Read more here.

 

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The Fresh Feeling of Autumn in London

Though I have been back from holiday in The Algarve, Portugal for more than a week now, I’m only beginning to feel grounded. What a lovely holiday. Do check out the pictures below:

Anyhow, with a busy schedule including working on the design of my upcoming book,The Seasons, which will be out in late October, and preparing for the launch of a new website to coincide with it, I have hardly had time to notice London, even it is as busy as ever.

I have been moving about rather purposefully, only doing the essentials—training, going to the hair salon, and shopping for groceries. And what a task the latter has been since discovering that I have more food intolerances that I can stomach. But that’s another story.

On top of all this, I lost my favourite aunt last weekend and continue to struggle with mourning from afar.  See my January 2011 blog on this very topic. Admittedly, I felt better re-reading it.

Still, I felt foggy and a bit out of sorts until yesterday.  Then I noticed something different in the atmosphere, something novel and perhaps light.

No longer was the heaviness of summer hanging over me as I made my way to the nearby park during my morning run, though I hadn’t run in a few days. And later that morning on a jaunt to Knightsbridge and Sloane Square, I felt a similar vigour.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that though not official according to astronomers, autumn has come to London. Even if day and night are not of equal length, I’m certain it is here, even if there are only a few berry coloured trees to behold and two or three rust coloured leaves around.

As autumn has always been my favourite seasons, I have long concluded that its arrival is not necessarily in the landscape, but in the air.  It’s an atmosphere, a feeling. And in London, this atmosphere takes off the intense edge.

What a sigh of relief to notice that:

1)   People here seem to approach autumn almost as if it is a New Year.  From launching new restaurants to opening flagship stores, merchants keep the capital fresh and relevant. Yesterday, I popped into the new Club Monaco store in Sloane Square. Not bad, not bad!

2)  The buzz around the new term – be it the school term, the work term, the ‘explore or improve your life’ course term – adds to the novelty. In any case it is all about new beginnings. No need to wait for January to set off to a crisp start.

3)  Londoners and tourists alike are friendlier. While I have always been one of those people with an ‘ask me’ stamp on my forehead, it seems to glow in the daylight in autumn.  Where is Sloane Street? Am I on the right road to Harrods? Is Parliament Square this way? Just a few of the questions I was asked recently. So glad I could help.

4)  More walkers and runners are taking to the paths. The pleasant weather is just right for walking and running and cycling, too. Never mind the occasional dark cloud and threat of rain.  It’s London, after all.

5)  People continue to sit outside, if only for a spell. In summer everyone goes out in droves for fear they won’t get the opportunity to do so the next day. But autumn days linger, making us all a bit more relaxed.

6)  It doesn’t hurt that there are few, if any gnats or midges to reckon with, although I did notice a bee kicking up a buzz among the crowds in Fulham over the weekend.

7)  And lo and behold drivers are far more courteous than they were in the summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the congestion can be taxing. But we are all in it together. Seriously!

Though I’m looking forward to those traditional days when the leaves will colour the landscape, for now I’m taking in the fresh atmosphere of autumn in the capital and basking in it. It’s in the air.

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Expat Caught in the Congestion Zone

Westminster…argh! Actually, I love the borough, lived in it for twelve of the nearly seventeen years I have been in London. But I hate driving there, with the exception of Belgravia and Knightsbridge. Hate it! And they must hate drivers like me coming there, too—not sure whether to zoom or potter. All we want is a parking space, just one.

Hence, the congestion zone – that ought to keep us out. I thought so too, but today I went inside the controlled zone, unintentionally, of course. Blinking Sat Nav. Someone has to accept the blame.

If only I had listened to my gut instinct, I would have parked in my old neighbourhood and walked to my destination. Oh no, I thought I could get right to the edge of the zone, sit the car down and walk merrily to Run and Become.

Not only did I end up blocks away from the store, but also when I at last got there, the shop was closed for staff holidays. If only I had listened to my gut instinct, I would have telephoned  in advance. But honestly, who has ever heard of such a shop closing in the height of running season?

Okay, it is the end of the summer but my current shoes are so out of date that it is no longer funny. As much as I run, I am told that I could do with a new pair of shoes every three months. Forget it, maybe every six months, but the truth is, I haven’t bought any since last June or July. No wonder my feet are not amused, my knees either.

Never mind, I still have to pay this charge of  £11.50 on top of the £2.00 that I paid to park. Ouch that’s more than $22. Not to mention the petro. And forget about all the time I planned to save by taking the car. I lost that driving around, looking for parking and then walking to the closed shop.

So what would a train fare have been? I dare not say.  But all is not lost, not really. I had a sightseeing tour around Westminster, finally saw where the St James Park tube station is, and passed by the New Scotland Yard. Also, I saw numerous trendy coffee shops. Under different circumstances, I might have tried out at least one.

But anxious to get out of dodge, I settled for stopping into Boots, the chemist, for some eye drops of all things. There, I can see clearly now. So I am told there is a great running shop in Kensington, nowhere near the congestion zone. Settled, out of it at last.