Category: On Wellbeing

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Disheartened: Five Tips to Emerge

1) Go for a run alone, walk, do whatever you do, just get active. That’s what I did this morning, I went running after Britain voted to leave the EU. And as my mind was thinking, trying to understand the seismic shift that was made overnight seemingly, I didn’t feel any ways tired. Quite different from what I felt sitting on my bed staring at the talking heads on the television.

An American expat, who doesn’t have an official say in elections here, I had a lot riding on the decision, like all decisions made here, and in the US, too, where I do have a say. But sometimes just getting used to the thoughts in your own head before going head on into a debate or a drawn out commiseration with others informs a healthier discussion, a healthier you.

2) Accept the change. Acceptance of a change is not the same as embracing or supporting it, it is more about coming to terms. What does it really mean? Some broadcasters referred to the decision as a divorce from Europe. Well, unless you can over turn a divorce, and you probably wouldn’t want to, best to accept it to avoid a long drawn out disaster? And figure out what it really means and how to reinvent.

Of course, on a national level the consequences of the Brexit decision will unfold, but what does it mean today? Also, on a personal level, what does it mean now? Whether jubilant or disillusioned or somewhere in between, don’t rush to judgment or operate in fear of the future. Take it one day at a time and use acceptance to steer your course.

3) Take responsibility. Responsibility comes with winning. Now what? Someone has to steer the course and let’s pray the winners have a plan and a jolly good one. But responsibility comes with losing, too. Sore losers storm off, take their ball and go home. My goodness that is the last thing we ought to do right now. Otherwise, the winners take all, not only the important decision, but heart and soul, too. But let me be clear, I support David Cameron’s decision to pass the baton, which doesn’t mean quitting if you ask me, but it means accepting reality. It’s a game, if you will, that he did not win so how can he possibly coach the next round. Surely, there is someone more suitable for that.

In the meantime, he can take responsibility for the country now and keep it stable! Who can argue with that? As for the rest of us, we could gain from getting on with business as usual, too, as best as we can.

4) That’s the next tip. Get on with business as usual. We can all do that. That’s partly why I went running. Surely, had I stayed stuck in front of the television, I’d still be there in shock. Yet, I am out and about minding my business.

In a personal kerfuffle, I remember getting on with business and a family member angrily saying how can you do that at a time like this. I remember thinking if I don’t, I’ll become stagnant, toxic and so on and more harmful than helpful to the cause we were fighting. To me, getting on with it is a bit like acceptance, not supporting or going with the crowd, but continuing to do the right thing, even under a dark cloud. Of course, watch the market (s) and so on but people stall things and people, by George, start them too.

5) And finally, about that debate, that commiseration, relate to somebody. If you are like me, you work alone. And at times such as these, working alone can be lonely. After checking out what’s on social media, phone a friend and go for a coffee. Can’t reach a friend, go for a coffee alone and make new ones. Just relate! Umm, great thought. I think it is time for a break.

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When Your Body Talks, Best To Listen

From day one we are told to eat right for good health, by our parents, our food administrators, doctors and so on. Oddly, however, it is not always clear what is right. Most recently, Dr Mark Hyman in his Eat Fat Get Thin challenges the long held belief that fat is not right and to prove his point says, in so many many words, let your body do the talking. It will tell you what’s right.

Usually not one for such fad diets, I  jumped on board and recently completed the  21-day challenge, which is actually a total body reset. Whose idea was this anyhow? Actually it was Paul’s, having read about it in The Sunday Times, his holy grail of newspapers.

Kicking and screaming he came along for the exercise, too, and I think he’s glad he did. As for me, not sure where I got the wherewithal to do it, considering the speed of life nowadays, but yahoo, I did it, and am seven pounds lighter and a couple of inches thinner, too, and much wiser about the food chain.

On the matter of the former, my father, bless, worried that I didn’t have any weight to lose. Nothing to speak of, I admitted, but I had gained a few toxins that were seriously weighing me down. The truth, however, I confessed, was that weight was the last thing that attracted me to the diet, it was the body reset that got my attention.

Having indulged in comfort foods, containing gluten, which I’m intolerant of, while spending more time than usual in the US, I had begun to feel a bit foggy again. Who can resist Sara Lee coffee cake, Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and anybody’s honey buns and… you get the picture.

Thus, the 21-day plan was just what I needed to tune up, so to speak. Like any regime that proposes a certain outcome, there were food restrictions but not what you think—no calorie counting to speak of, no starvation at all. Thank Goodness. But off the menu were most of the normal culprits: refined carbohydrates, gluten, dairy, processed food and sugar. But fat, normally, their associate, was the star of the menu, good fat that is.

Dr Hyman’s book is about eating more good fat to not only get thin but also to feel better and prevent wretched illness, including heart diseases, cancer, dementia and diabetes. Make no mistake about it, I’m not in a position to endorse EFGT, it’s far too involved for that after one short stint with the programme, but I can say this: it worked for us. Also, it blows some of the food myths out of the kitchen such as that fruit juices are as healthy as the fruit they come from and that nuts (pecan, brazils, almonds, walnuts, etc.) are fattening. Not so, on either account. Fruit juice is liquid sugar and nuts are just naturally good. But of course, if you are a nut allergen, nuts are off the menu, too.

And fortunately for me, I am not. So within a week’s time I had eaten all of my Georgia pecans—all of them. And as much avocado and olive oil as I jolly well pleased, along with vegetables galore, and reasonable portions of poultry, oily fish, and grass fed meat. The options for recipes were endless, one of the reasons the plan worked for me.

But it does come with its cons, if you will. Planning is absolutely necessary. It is not for the willy-nilly. And aside from not having any access to fresh Georgia pecans for the last two weeks of the diet, I felt like Superman without my kryptonite for longer than I thought I should have. So I had a visit with my GP and found out that all was well, but quickly ascertained that my kryptonite was likely added sugar, not just from all those coffee cakes but other processed foods, too, and was doing more damage than good. So it was just as well that I ran empty on it.  And another dislike about EFGT was taking loads of  food supplements but admittedly, this was crucial.

Would I take the EFGT challenge again? Let’s hope I don’t have to because the book is a great resource for learning more about what is really good for the body and what is not. And as the author writes, there is no better doctor than your own body—it tells you what you need to know. It is up to you to listen to it.

Right… mine is calling for a coffee break and a gluten free, fine chocolate. Off I go.

 

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Dreaming up a Good Nightlife

I am dreamer, always have been. According to psychologists we all are. Dreaming is a natural part of our sleeping life, the mechanism the subconscious minds uses to offer feedback, resolve problems, etc… But here is the thing, the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between a dream and real life. That’s why nightmares can be chest pounding, heart racing and so on.

And that can make for a restless night. But what about if we dream well, can this make the difference in having a good night? It does, at least, for this one writer. Read more in my recent  Huffington Post blog: ‘Dreaming up a Good Nightlife’.

 

 

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Looking for Peace?

It’s New Year’s Eve, a day of bidding farewell to 2015 and preparing for 2016, the anticipated year ahead. So what you are hoping to resolve next year?

One acquaintance is going to do bit of saving and another a bit of exercising. As for me, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions as such but I will take this opportunity  as I did around my birthday in September, to reflect and project.

And in doing so, I  have hope to resolve a few things. One thing I am I am hoping for is a bit more peace in 2016, not only on a personal note but on a public one, too.

Peace, the topic of my last 2015 Huff Post blog, is one of those concepts that seems elusive. Still we strive for it and hope for it, but sometimes perhaps we look in the wrong place. Perhaps it is time to look in what is likely the only place that peace can be found: within. Read more in the Huff Post.

In the meantime, wishing you a Peaceful and Happy New Year.

 

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Is It Time To Redefine A Relationship?

We all need relationships, whether they are familiar or romantic. Without them, we feel unhappy and unhealthy. But even with them, specifically when they go wrong, we can feel deprived of a basic need, not to mention when a relationship breaks down altogether.

In my most recent Huff Post blog, I explore the question: Why Relationships Break Down, looking more at familiar relations. Of course, there are a number of reasons that parents and children stop speaking and so on. But could there be something at the crux of such fall outs, something as simple or as complicated as definition or lack thereof?

Read more in the Huffington Post.

 

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Tough Love: Easier Said Than Done

Some things are easier said than done, most of them have to do with kicking a bad habit, such as swearing, overeating, smoking or enabling. Yes enabling – contributing continuously to an unhealthy/dysfunctional situation in the name of love, religion, support, family secrecy, and so on.

Guilty as charged for enabling, that is. Never have I been guilty of any of the other vices – okay, so I might have indulged in at least one of them. Never mind.

Anyhow, since enabling can be as counterproductive as the addiction or dysfunction in question, it is time to toughen up and practise tough love. I know, I know. That’s easier said than done.

Read more in my September Huffington Post blog, Getting Tough On Enabling. And do have your say on the matter, too.

 

 

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Reading Leads To Bigger Ponds

Even if I can’t remember the first book I read fully, I have enjoyed reading ever since I can remember.  There is something about entering another space, if you will, and imagining, if only for the duration of a novel, for example, what it’s like to be in another person or persons shoes.

Granted some of the characters, particularly tragic ones,  wear shoes that are a bit too tight. Still, all one has to do then is to turn the page and eventually the tightness loosens. There, everyone can breathe again.

Real life can be a bit like that too, all too often, which is why I advocate reading, not only as an escape route, but also as a good practice to keep the mind open to different ways of life, different perspectives, different options.

I write about this in my July Huffington Post blog: Reading Leads to Bigger Ponds.

You know what they say, ‘life doesn’t have to be a closed book.’

Who are they, anyhow?  Never mind, why not open a book, a magazine and gain a different perspective.

 

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No Time Like The Present

As I write this blog, the present is fleeting, as it always is, fading into the past. Surely, there must be a way to pin it down, make it stay a bit longer. In theory, the answer is short and simple: take life day by day, one experience at a time.

In reality, however, it is far more complex and challenging and can sometimes become counter productive, particularly if trying becomes an obsession, causing the mind to revert to the  past and/or project ahead to the future.

This month in my Huffington Post blog, I write about living in the present, particularly during a crisis, a difficult time, for an overall better experience.

Let’s face it: the past has its place and will not be ignored. And the future, a good one anyhow, cannot be attained without some form of preparation and planning. The key is to recognise each experience for what it is or rather when it is for a more precious encounter. Check out No Time Like The Present  here and do feel free to join in the conversation on this website, on social media or on the Huff Post.

 

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It’s Trendy: That’s the short of Long Hair

Hair trends come and they go but there’s one that stays around all the time, even if it does take a back seat occasionally to other trends. Yes, you guessed it–long hair. Somewhere along the way, the belief that long hair is better than short got stuck in, making the topic seemingly a political one. But throughout history, many women have tossed the politics aside and successfully and stylishly challenged this belief.

There’s nothing like a good haircut. Still, cutting one’s hair can be a big deal. I should know; I have been around that block a time or two. But over the years I’ve learned the short of the long of it. Check out my most recent Huff Post blog for my revelation and find out  how to keep your hair trendy, too, regardless of its length, colour or texture for that matter.

And do feel free to have your say here or on the Huff Post directly.

 

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Hazy Weekend Coming Up in London

Just as well that I wasn’t able to get out for my run this morning. Dust from the Sahara desert has blown into London, once again, sending runners and many other outside enthusiasts inside for the hottest day of the year, yet to come.

A low-grade asthma sufferer, I remember all too well being trapped inside of a gym for days in 2012. This time, as the dust blew in, I spent the morning in my car, driving across London, gazing through the haze upon buildings such as the Shard.

My pre-planned trip to Essex to see my specialist about implants, dental implants that is, okay, had robbed me of the run anyhow, thus I wasn’t as gutted as before. Still, as I glimpsed the London skyline, I thought ahead to Saturday, realising that my plans would surely go up in dust.

In the morning, I had hoped to take to the Thames Path,  but meteorologists are forecasting blood rain, a term scientist use to describe rain when it is mixed with the red dust.

That means hitting the gym or giving my run a miss. Make no mistake about it, I am not above taking to the treadmill – oh no, not I. But do so dislike it, if only for the repetitiveness of running in place. Not to mention that on a Saturday morning the gym will be packed.

Excuses! Excuses! Sounds like a hazy weekend to me.