Category: On Lifestyle

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Reaping the Benefits of Waiting Awhile

One of the stories found in our Wait Awhile research confirms that teenage girls still feel a lot of pressure to explore sex, often before they are ready. Of the 16% of our respondents who said they had gone further in a sexual relationship than they were comfortable with, 77% of the girls said they regretted doing so.

And although our survey doesn’t ask girls to tell us the specific regrets, I know from talking with teenage girls through my work and personal life and having been a girl myself, though a long time ago, such regrets are deeply felt and can be long lasting, which is why our Wait Awhile initiative is about taking a deep breath and widening the gap between being a girl and a woman.

Having said that some high risk activities for teenagers, such as sharing sexually explicit material can lead to danger and harm and deep regret at any age. But becoming sexually active prematurely does carry enormous risks during the teen years.

There are plenty of reasons to wait awhile but too often the only reasons that are expounded on are the ones that focus more on the negatives consequences of premature sex instead of the positive benefits of waiting.

At UIO podcast, we believe there are enormous benefits in side-stepping undue pressures and expected behaviour that could result in deep regret. And we are not just talking about sex, though sex is a big deal. Sexuality, for example, is another topic that teenagers feel heated pressure to explore and know all the answers instantaneously.

In our On Dating Inside Out podcast with Cat Williams, the therapist points out that often when we are determined to do something no matter the cost, it might not hurt to step back and let the hormones settle, my words, not Cat’s.

Amongst the benefits of stepping back are living a life without the pressure of worrying about consequences, as well as the opportunity to align with your true values and live your best life in the here and now.  And as you grow-up that here and now changes, as it should, giving you the opportunity to make more informed decisions that serve you, rather than cause regret and grief.

In our On Sex and Sexuality podcast, which we have re-released this week, our guest Rachel Gardener talks about the importance of putting your relationship first, before diving into a steamy romance. The benefits of learning loads about yourself while learning to relate to another person far outweighs living under pressure that can and so often lead to physical and emotional scars.

Waiting awhile is about reclaiming your space as a teenage girl.  After all, you’re only a teenager for a few short years. Enjoy!

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The Joys Of Dating

As if there isn’t enough pressure on dating as it is and crops up Valentine’s Day.  Bear with, I’m not really a kill joy about this loveable day, and I do enjoy a good box of chocolates now and again and some lovely flowers, too.  But the thing is, with all the hype around love and romance, sometimes folks who are already dating or even married feel undue pressure and those who are single just might feel a bit left out.

Good thing we’ve released On Dating Inside Out, Episode 4 from Series 2. In it Cat Williams offers insight on what dating is really all about. It is not only an opportunity to get to know another person but you can learn a lot about yourself, too.

When I was a teenage girl, the last thing I thought dating would do was teach me about myself but in hindsight, I can see very well how it did and some of the growth opportunities that opened up through dating, though they didn’t feel like opportunities then, more like hindrances.

For example, dating helps with establishing boundaries.  These boundaries are important not only when it comes to putting the brakes on going further in a sexual relationship than one is comfortable with but also they can play a role in deciding on what type of people you want to hang out with, even at school.

In hindsight, had I understood this last point, I would have found it much easier to stay in a spacious place as a teenager and not feel the pressure of hanging out without someone just because they were popular and so on.

This type of dating doesn’t show the concept at its best at all.  In fact, it can taint the experience and cause confusion about dating.  But lots of good advice out there to clear up confusion.  One tip is to speak to someone you can trust when presented with dating challenges.  This could be a parent, an older sibling or an auntie.  You might be thinking—fat chance that I will be talking to a parent. She won’t understand.

Try her. She has likely been there and done that, though in a different generation with some different challenges. I know, I know talk about dating can be quite awkward. I remember avoiding the topic like the plaque but upon reflection, a conversation about dating opens the door to self-discovery and could bridge communications gaps.

Likely my idea of dating was a totally different idea than either of my parents had.  It wasn’t until I turned about sixteen, the dating age they set, that they laid down the rules, curfews and all.  But still no specific talk about etiquette, if you know what I mean.

I think, however, had we chatted about what I thought dating meant, they would have found themselves far more at ease than they could have ever imagined.  No grand ideas at all, certainly when it came to romance.  Just thought it was cool to have a boyfriend to walk me from one class to another, to carry my books, to chat to on the phone sometimes.

That was my level of maturity at the time and according Cat Williams, we all differ in this area.  Key, I think, is to get to know yourself, enjoy the teenage years, sharing activities and interests with friends, whether you are dating or not. The same goes for Valentines’ Day—enjoy it in any case.

For more tips on dating, check out Series 2: Episode 4 – On Dating Inside Out.  Watch this space for more hot tips on enjoying your teen years.

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Pressures More Penalising For Today’s Teens

There are some things that are better left in childhood—the way that we mismanage anger, our sole dependence on others to care for us and causing or being subjected to peer pressure just to name a few.

Unfortunately, there is not always a clean break from our growing pains. Peer pressure, in particular, follows us around like a shadow well into old age. I suppose the older we get, the less peers we have. Still there are days, even in my middle age, when peer pressure stares me in the face like the bully it can often be. Nowadays, I have a better handle on saying no and declining experiences that make me uncomfortable but admittedly when I was a teenager, it wasn’t as easy.

And way back when I was a teenager, the pressures, though intense, seemed less punishing. There was pressure to smoke, to cut school, to have sex, just some of the pressures that are handed down through the ages. But nowadays there are loads of new pressures, owing to our modern technology and perhaps shift in mores in society. Let’s face it, our obsessions with our mobile devices, for example, blindfolds us to some of the unnecessary pressures heaped upon children and teens, for example.

The idea of being on all the time is unrealistic to say the least from both a mental and physical health perspective and when we falter at something because we can’t get it right all the time, wouldn’t it be nice to falter in privacy. How refreshing!

Still the pressures of joining in high risk activities are on the rise. For example, I don’t remember ever hearing about sexting, the act of disrobing for the camera, when I was a teen. If it was around, it certainly was never referred to as the norm. People likely saw it for what it was and still is, an illegal activity that carries heavy penalties for both those pushing it and those succumbing to it.

Nowadays, however, the pressure on teens to participate in sexting has become an epidemic in some areas, according to a BBC report. But here is the thing, most teens, girls and boys, alike probably don’t know that this dangerous game is actually illegal. It is not just a moral choice that you make, and though you might regret it, you get on with life. It scars and penalises well into adulthood, not to mention the pain and upset that it causes when it actually happens. A teen girl in a recent BBC story makes it very clear that sexting can never amount to anything good. It made her feel like she was in a zoo.

Sexting destroys lives, full stop, as does other experiences that teen girls are often coerced into as a norm. Thankfully, people in positions to do something about sexting, for example, are waking up to this reality and trying to crack down on it.

The truth is, there are many good reasons to stop and think before engaging in anything uncomfortable, immoral and illegal that you might regret sooner and certainly later in life.

To this end, UIO has a special treat coming up for teen girls that supports putting the brakes on (out later this month), even if everyone else around you seems to be parachuting into adulthood. In the meantime, listen to Episode 10: Peer Pressure Inside Out with Natalie Savvides, for tips on saying no and declining things that you don’t want to do. And do keep an eye on this space for our exciting new initiative, which is all about you.

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Rising Above Odds In Unexceptional Situations

We’ve been talking about rising above odds since last October when we did Series 2: Episode 3 – Rising Above Odds with Hannilee Fish. It is a huge topic.Sometimes the odds are stacked against us owing to economics, a disability, or other complicated conditions. Hannilee talks about growing up in poverty and how she overcame. Other times, however, the odds are stacked against us in situations that are consequentially, such as when Hannilee’s  mother attempted suicide. How does a teenage girl overcome such dire circumstances? Still, we sometimes elect situations in which the odds are stacked against us such as joining an all-male sports team, joining a club where the majority are a different race to ours, or dating someone from a different background or even moving to a different country. Nothing wrong with any of these choices, which often bring personal growth opportunities, if nothing else. This gets me thinking back some 21 years when I left my cushy life in Atlanta for a new start in London. Much like when I went to New York City at the ripe young age of 23, the odds were stacked against me and more than a few people thought they ought to warn me of the dangers which stealthily might be ahead. In my 20s, it was the temptation of sex, drugs and rock n roll, so to speak. Moving to my mid-30s, the stakes seemed even higher to some. I had a good job, a lovely apartment, even if I was renting, a fast red car, virtually a life of independence. And here I was giving it all up for the unknown; worse yet, without a job to secure independence. What if it didn’t work? What if…what if? Fast forward to the ripe middle age of 56, it did work, but let’s face it not without challenge. Make no mistake about it, I have nothing to boast about, but I do have a few bits to share on how I rose above odds in what was actually an unexceptional situation. I say unexceptional because people have been picking up and moving across the world for yonks. Nonetheless, I do understand that such an effort is not a mundane thing and without challenge. Still, it was just as well that it wasn’t new; I didn’t have to start from scratch, hence the first tip on my list.
  • Speak to others who have been there and done that, preferably someone who won’t take a cynical approach. And if there is no one on hand, read a book. Fortunately, I knew someone who had recently moved to Holland to wed a Dutchman. I loved talking to her before making the move and in the early days of living in London.
  • Have a plan. Honestly, you might think. That doesn’t sound very adventurous. That is the key. Electing a life change need not be looked on as an adventure but rather a new life experience. Thus, I latched on to the advice to have a plan, even if I did ignore the many warnings and the what ifs firing away at me.
  • Stay in your comfort zone. I know, I know, there is all sorts of advice out there against this. But one step at a time is quite enough. For example, rather than to change my hair radically, according to the stylist in my neighbourhood, I branched out and found someone who spoke my hair’s language and mine, too.
  • Get acclimatised as quickly as you can. This does mean venturing out and trying old things that amount to new things in your new situation—things that encourage, instil confidence and give you what you need to exist happily. In my case, it was independence. I learned to drive in the UK pretty early on. And yes, I had to overcome roundabouts, a big odd stacked against me, but I persevered.
  • Stay in touch with what is familiar, making your transition a little easier. For me, I kept close to my family and a few good friends. My mother wrote to me regularly, and I wrote to her and we chatted on the phone, her teaching me how to make cornbread dressing, even if I had to go to extremes to source the cornmeal. Also, my best girl spoke to me daily, came on the journey with me spiritually, and visited when she could as well.
  • In addition, I looked for home away from home in church, went to gospel concerts, and made friends with other American women living in London under similar circumstances.
  • Embrace your new life. This is the grandmother of all the tips. It’s all about seeing the opportunity in any situation. Even when I longed to return to the US because I missed my cushy life there, I held onto building a new one here, appreciating the new experiences, the new ways of doing things. For example, I took a master’s degree to build credentials here.
Again, these tips are not about bragging or long suffering or suffering in an untenable situation. They are about rising above the odds against you, ensuring personal growth, which often leads to happiness in the space where you actually are. For more tips on rising above odds, check out Series 2: Episode 3 – Rising Above Odds.
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All About Skin

It’s Elizabeth as guest blogger again, this time writing about skin.

Someone once said that youth was wasted on the young. With each new wrinkle that forms, I am starting to see the truth in that saying and often imagine how great it would be if I knew then what I know now.

As a teen girl, I often neglected to pay my skin any attention and, while there is no magic fountain of youth or a fool proof solution for perfect skin (what a shame!), I have learned along the way that there are certain things that can help to put your best face forward.

Firstly, let’s talk about skin care. Since our skin is unique to us and our life-styles, I like to think of caring for my skin in terms of feeding it with both inner and outer nutrition.

Inner nutrition is having a healthy diet with plenty of water and consuming less of the things that are bad for my skin, such as sugar and alcohol (okay, I’m not a saint and do indulge every now and then!) As a girl, however, I didn’t really understand the connection between sugar and break-outs, for example. You live and learn, a good segue to outer nutrition.

This is why I nourish my face with a good moisturiser and full body with body cream to hydrate from the outside. Long gone are the days when I use just a face-wipe before bed, but that’s something I’ve only realised in my 40s! Experts say that a good skin care routine should start in your teens, ideally from the age of 14 years. However, as Jenny Hawkins points out in Episode 3: Your Skin Inside Out, it is important to use age appropriate products. The products in your mother’s cupboard, for example, are likely to be too mature for your skin.

Next, let’s talk about skin and the sun. In my late teens and early 20s, it used to be a case of applying sun cream and then forgetting about it for the rest of the day, the lower the SPF the better. Now, and with the benefit of hindsight, a tonne of research and hot tips from our podcast, it is clear that the reverse is true. That is, the higher the SPF the better and it is important to re-apply regularly. My kids, however, don’t agree and you might not either. But take it from someone who has been there and done that, protecting your skin from the sun is non-negotiable.

And finally about the topic of make-up, less is most definitely more. When I was a teen, I wasn’t allowed to wear heavy make-up and no doubt protested at the time. In hindsight, I’m thankful for my parents’ guidance as I only ever got the occasional spot.  Don’t get me wrong though, I love to wear make-up. It makes me feel more confident and ready to face (sometimes literally!) the day. The key is age-appropriate make-up and products that are right for our individual skin type. A heavily made up face all the time, particularly for young skin, could cause blemishes and other damage, too.

No wonder I love the clean feeling of taking off make-up at night and lately I find myself trying to have days where I take a break from wearing it altogether. In my 20s and 30s, I wouldn’t have dreamed of venturing outside without a full face of make-up on, but ironically as I’m getting older and probably need it more with bags, dark circles and wrinkles, I find it strangely empowering to go without.

I love this quote from actress Drew Barrymore, ‘I like to take a break from vanity…when a woman is laughing, fresh from a workout or just enjoying her life…that is when she at her most beautiful.”  Personally, I couldn’t agree with her more and feel the key to a happy life is ultimately to be happy in your own…you guessed it…skin.

For more tips on skin and how to care for it, tune into our podcast with skin expert Jenny Hawkins – Episode 3: Your Skin Inside Out. Jenny offers some amazing tips and inspirational advice, too.

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As Simple as Good Food to Stay Healthy

I am no goodie two shoes when it comes to my eating habits, contrary to popular belief. So, I do have veggies at all three meals regularly, including breakfast but I still know how to find the best chocolate chip cookies I can eat even though I am gluten intolerant, and if I can’t source such a treat from one of my trusted supermarkets, I can always find the perfect recipe.

A few months ago, I made gluten free cinnamon rolls. Amazing!

But let me be clear—chocolate chip cookies and the likes are a treat for me nowadays, not a regular snack. Partially, I came to this conclusion because of my conflict with gluten but there is another reason I decided to relegate sweets to the back of my diet, only to come forward from time to time as a treat.

The answer is: I feel like a different person when I am not full of refined carbohydrates. I feel well, full of energy, ready to meet the day. It is as simple as that. Looking over my shoulder I do often ask myself, what took me so long to get this simple message. And here is what I stumbled on.

First of all, I didn’t have time to eat healthily all the time. Even as a teen girl, I was on the go. We had cheerleader practice, then choir rehearsal and all the rest, which sounds like a cake walk now compared to the schedule of my teenage niece. Still, I felt lucky to grab a pack of cookies, some potato chips (crisps) and maybe even a soft drink to keep going. I was young, my body could handle it. After all I would eat a nutritious supper that my mother prepared for supper. One good meal was enough, I rationed.

As a young writer, I carried on a bit with that same flawed thinking, too busy to stop to eat but I always had time for a cup of coffee, a cola, for energy that is until I got a headache, ill or something that put me out of commission totally.

Now when I find myself about to miss a meal, I always have a treat on hand—an apple, some pecans—until I can get a balanced meal. The key is planning and preparing, a point that Judit Ressinka makes in Episode 2: Your Body Inside Out. Admittedly, some days lunch is a little later than recommended but almost always it is the right fuel. The payoff for making the time is I get to carry on working, feeling really well and out comes a good result.

Next, I didn’t think I really liked what was called healthy food—a salad, beetroot, some nuts, etc… For many years I was sort of a meat and potatoes kind of girl and though no one loves French fries more than I do, they don’t necessarily serve me. Thus, I find substitutes that are equally as tasty such as sweet potato fries, parsnip and carrot fries and so on, and keep it moving and leave the real deal for a special treat. The key, however, is to keep the extra ingredients such as flour out of it, and roast or bake with a little olive oil. How tasty is that!

Finally, I thought I could eat what I wanted and just shake it all off in the gym. Admittedly, though the few extra pounds came off, I could never quite budge that heavy feeling. I learned rather quickly that weight is not just about what is on the scale, it is about everything that you are carrying inside. A lot of it is dead weight down to inappropriate food and unnecessary anxiety as well, some of it triggered by food. Though enjoying food is important, make sure you are enjoying the right food for you.

Now about those cinnamon rolls made back in October last year. Shush, don’t tell Judit Ressinka. Anyhow, they are ever so sweet as a treat from time to time. Notice I didn’t say were—they are (in my freezer in portions) because I do get it now, that eating properly is what it takes to feel well and full of energy. It is as simple as that.

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A Bit Of Inspiration

Body image is a heavy topic, especially when it’s personal. And though I am in a good space now I haven’t always been, particularly during the last and first months of the year. The time of feasting can so often lead up to the time of questioning, scrutinising and trying to shed weight, one of the issues that can lead to poor body image.

Thankfully, I am in good stead for now. Still I am thrilled that we have chosen this week to re-release our fourth podcast ever, Your Body Image Inside Out, with personal trainer Laura Miles, released in May 2017. In the podcast, Laura who was an obese teenager, not only tells her personal story but also shares tips about how to keep fit without obsessing and comparing.

The bottom line is you are the only you in the world, so while you might not be exactly like some of the other girls, never mind. That was a hard lesson for me as a teen girl, believe it or not. I do remember feeling if only I had a body like her or even her I would be better at sports or more attractive and so on.

But over the years I have come across some tips that have helped me to embrace me, genes and all. Many of our UIO podcast guests, including Laura, either directly or indirectly have given some top tips on how to find happiness in the space you are in, starting now.

As published in my blog in May 2018, here they are, as apropos as ever.

Banish self-deprecating talk!
Focus on health!
Embrace genes, fanny and all!
Focus on likes and not on dislikes!
Make the most of the haves (that is what you have); ignore the have nots!

These tips can help with all poor body image problems, not just weight issues. And to add to the list: get active. Research shows that girls don’t always enjoy getting into sports, for example, owing to body image problems. Recently, our guest Laura wrote in a social media post that because she was no good at sports, likely to do with being obese, she refused to engage for fear of letting the team down. It was only when she found spinning, something that wasn’t a team sport or activity of sorts that she got active and begin to stop obsessing over poor body image and started getting healthy.

I can relate to Laura’s fears about letting the team down. Admittedly, I dreaded P.E. and sports days, but now I am one of the first to the gym, at least on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, because I understand the importance of exercise in the big scheme of things. And I get the bit about eating healthily, too, so important to developing a good body image.

When you feel better, you are better all around. Check out Episode 4: Your Body Image Inside Out for more tips and inspirational quotes on body image. During this first month of the year we could all do with a bit of inspiration. I know I can. Enjoy!

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What do you want for your life?

There’s something exciting about a new beginning, something which encapsulates the tenderness of youth, something which holds promise and therefore, refreshes and invigorates the spirit.

No wonder the New Year marks a time when so many of us make resolutions, particularly ones around weight loss and wealth acquisition and so on. The trouble with this, however, is that as the year matures, the resolutions mature as well, feel a bit yesterday, if you will. In short, they don’t materialise.

Admittedly, I have never been big on the hype and pressure around making New Year’s resolutions, not because I am a kill joy contrary to some belief, but because I tend to be more of a realist than an idealist.

Ideally it sounds great to kick all the bad habits I have acquired throughout the year in January, but can I really do it? Unlikely! Over the years, I have taken a tip from the story of creation. For nearly five years now, I have enjoyed a daily reading called the Bible In One Year (BIOY) with commentary by Nicky Gumbel, vicar of Holy Trinity Brompton where I happen to belong as member, and though I love reading most Bible stories, the first ones are amazingly uplifting and refreshing.

I say that because when God created humankind in particular, He was clear about what He wanted for us and when it didn’t quite go to plan, He had a strategy to get things back on track—my take on the things, not Nicky’s or sound theology, so do bear with.

It is sort of like new parents deciding what they want for their baby’s life, not only from day to day, but from month to month and from year to year and setting goals to achieve their dreams and desires, not waiting for the last hour to decide. Certainly, along the way, things fall to the wayside and sometimes don’t go as planned but they don’t leave it to the pulse of the moment, New Year’s Eve or Day, to resolve, to make adjustments, to get back on track.

They think about health and wealth, hopefully not obsessively, throughout the year and often use a new beginning such as the New Year or a birthday to reflect, to assess, to celebrate, to launch the next phase in life.

I have found this approach hugely gratifying in both my personal and professional life. From a personal standpoint, it’s all about well-being with the underlying question to do with what do I want for myself? And that which I can control, I stay in the driver’s seat as much as possible. I run, I train, I keep good company and eat well most of the time and when I don’t, well, I reflect, assess and get on with the next phase. And that which I don’t control, I pray about it and try to give it the perspective that it deserves, which is a good segue to what’s on the agenda professionally.

Same underlying question—what do I want for UIO in 2019? Naturally, I would have pondered this question long before these fresh few days in January and am delighted to say that there is so much brewing for UIO in 2019, all to do with the well-being of teen girls throughout the world.

Later this year, we launch a new campaign to do with reclaiming the teen girl space.  Exciting, yeah! And lots of other good things on the horizon with a view to help carve a better quality of life for our girls. So watch this space and keep listening to our podcasts, which all offer opportunities to reflect, to assess, to celebrate, to launch the next phase in your life. Meanwhile, wishing you all that you want for your life in 2019. Happy New Year!

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Finding Opportunities During Down Time

The timing never seems quite right to be out of action for one reason or another. At least not for me. Famous last words before the storm, right.

“Not now! I cannot afford to be sick… I’ll take a break after the this or that is over.”

Barring a sudden accident such as a broken leg, a torn ligament, a virus, etc…, which puts you out of commission whether you like it or not, often times you can limp through the storm, if you are anything like me. But is limping really developing your full potential? Like the time when shingles hit in between trips to the US to take care of my father. I remember saying to my GP, “I cannot deal with this now. My dad has a major surgery in just under two weeks and I have to go there.“

Calmly, he wrote out the prescription for a medicine that would leave me as high as a kite and faced his computer and began searching his calendar until he came to an appointment just before my air travel. “I will see you back here then,” he said. “And if you are fit to travel, off you go, and if not, someone else will have to step in.”

In a daze, I stumbled out of his office and made my way to a nearby coffee shop and did what came most natural—ordered a croissant and a coffee and commenced to ponder the matter. Never mind that I already knew that I had somewhat of a gluten intolerance. But as I tried to calm the noise in my head, I had a light bulb moment, something to do with taking a little more responsibility for the situation, reflecting on how I arrived in the tight spot in the first place, how I was going to get out of it and also, what I might do while in it to develop personally.

Upon reflection, I can see that my mind ran to the safety of personal development for answers, even if I didn’t understand fully what was happening. Suddenly, I realised that the food I was eating wasn’t necessarily helpful for the situation nor was the anxiety that I was courting and joining ranks with. What could I do to avoid such a crisis moving forward and if even if I couldn’t avoid it, how could I manage the situation to serve me, to get better, instead of staying in a dark or corner or causing further harm?

In this particular situation, I was able to keep moving as I wasn’t house bound or bedridden, though I was trapped in my mind and possibly in London, but I have had my moments of physical limitations, too. And upon reflection I’ve found that looking for the opportunity to grow personally while healing is a game changer. Doing so means coming back to the game, whatever it is, stronger and better. Here are some tips that have helped me:

 

1) Start the day on a positive note with some form of meditation. For me, that means a prayer. For others it might mean a session of mindfulness or full meditation.
2) Keep it moving physically. If you are able to walk, have a short walk. If not, find a way to do exercise from right where you are.
3) Eat foods that serve your body, not ones that are going to depress the mind and the body further. As Robyn Spens points out in our latest podcast, On Personal Development, go for whole foods. As much as I love croissants, the difference in my mental and physical capacity is amazing when I pass on them, any gluten.
4) Reflect upon personal goals. If you are on track, that is amazing! Look at ways to stay on track. If you are not, ask questions, loads of them. What are the hindrances? In the case with the bout of the shingles, I was so stressed that I was driven beyond what my body could do. I had to put the matter into perspective and then remembered a quote from a personal development trainer of sorts that I met early on in New York. “You can do anything you want but not everything at the same time.”
5) Take up a new activity. Ever fancied learning to draw or even knitting. Such activities require quieting the left side of the brain, the chatter box, and just letting things flow naturally.
6) Catch up on your reading and your UIO podcasts. Stretch the mind, use the imagination to live beyond your sick bed.
7) Write it all down. I highly recommend keeping a journal as many of the guests from our UIO podcasts suggest. Doing so gets your thoughts down and also teaches you loads about yourself.

 

When all is said and done, if you do these things and others that are healthy to healing, there will be less time for worrying about missing out on the game and keeping up with social media, for example. Sure, the odd moment or two to stay connected to the world is important but the most important thing is reconnecting to self and working on developing your full potential in the space you are in. And if that is on your sick bed, go for it and get well soon.

I did—the trip to the US was far more rewarding for both me and my father.

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Get The Inside Scoop

Nothing like getting inside information. And that is just what I did to produce UIO’s fifth podcast in this second series, which will be released next week. On Being A Teen Girl Now features 16-year-old Leah from Hertfordshire and 15-year-old Divaina from Kent.

Not only do we have a timely conversation about their greatest challenges and opportunities, it got me thinking about my teen years a bit more specifically. But before reminiscing, I can’t say enough about the potential of both Divaina and Leah, not only in the space they are each in but also looking to the future.

What I remember most about our interview together is their individual and collective fresh approach to life, their willingness to speak out, to correct something if it was wrong, such as the pronunciation of their names. Yep, I got both names wrong. Not to mention their consideration, concern and respect for each other and their peers, and the awareness and interest they both showed in the world around them.

Gosh, I thought, as my mind travelled back into time, was I that tuned in? What was happening in the world when I was a teenager? Have teen girls always faced as many pressures and have they always been expected, willing and able to express their trials and tribulations as I asked both girls to do. Could I have articulated my concerns so eloquently at such a young age?

While no clear-cut answers spring to mind on any of the questions, I have a good memory of the American Bicentennial Celebration in 1976. I was the ripe old age of fourteen. Two hundred years ago today was a theme that still lives in my head. Beyond that and who was President, I had to take a quick refresher to see what was happening on the world stage.

Closer to home, however, I do recall who my closest friends were, the importance I placed on friendships, as if the air I breathed depending on them, as well as the need to be perfect. Of course, the times are different and social media, for example, turns the heat right up on the importance of self-image, being a success and so on, but the concept of being on trend, being popular, and being smart seeped into my teenage brain all the same.

Also, there was the pink elephant in the room—racism. Though there was a collegial relationship between the races, we were certainly not a close-knit group or a group with desires to diversify. The first three years of our school life had been spent in desegregation, so here we were as teenagers, trying to make sense of the world together but on different sides of the aisle. One example of this is the fact that we had separate proms.

It was with this weight that I journeyed through my teen years, often times reasoning that the teen years didn’t matter, that they were more or less a dress rehearsal for the rest of life. Over my should now, I see how wrong I was. Hence my desire to support teen girls right where they are. Life is now. And the good news about today’s teen girls is their willingness to start where they are tackling issues like sexualisation, sexism, colourism and so on. And though it is a heavy load, it’s lightened in the power of togetherness.

Onwards and upwards for both our guests and all teen girls. Get the inside scoop on UIO: On Being A Teen Girl Now, out Wednesday, November 7th. Listen on iTunes, Soundcloud, TuneIn, Stitcher or subscribe to our RSS feed to have the podcast delivered to your device.