Category: UIO: You Inside Out

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Rising Above Odds In Unexceptional Situations

We’ve been talking about rising above odds since last October when we did Series 2: Episode 3 – Rising Above Odds with Hannilee Fish. It is a huge topic.Sometimes the odds are stacked against us owing to economics, a disability, or other complicated conditions. Hannilee talks about growing up in poverty and how she overcame. Other times, however, the odds are stacked against us in situations that are consequentially, such as when Hannilee’s  mother attempted suicide. How does a teenage girl overcome such dire circumstances? Still, we sometimes elect situations in which the odds are stacked against us such as joining an all-male sports team, joining a club where the majority are a different race to ours, or dating someone from a different background or even moving to a different country. Nothing wrong with any of these choices, which often bring personal growth opportunities, if nothing else. This gets me thinking back some 21 years when I left my cushy life in Atlanta for a new start in London. Much like when I went to New York City at the ripe young age of 23, the odds were stacked against me and more than a few people thought they ought to warn me of the dangers which stealthily might be ahead. In my 20s, it was the temptation of sex, drugs and rock n roll, so to speak. Moving to my mid-30s, the stakes seemed even higher to some. I had a good job, a lovely apartment, even if I was renting, a fast red car, virtually a life of independence. And here I was giving it all up for the unknown; worse yet, without a job to secure independence. What if it didn’t work? What if…what if? Fast forward to the ripe middle age of 56, it did work, but let’s face it not without challenge. Make no mistake about it, I have nothing to boast about, but I do have a few bits to share on how I rose above odds in what was actually an unexceptional situation. I say unexceptional because people have been picking up and moving across the world for yonks. Nonetheless, I do understand that such an effort is not a mundane thing and without challenge. Still, it was just as well that it wasn’t new; I didn’t have to start from scratch, hence the first tip on my list.
  • Speak to others who have been there and done that, preferably someone who won’t take a cynical approach. And if there is no one on hand, read a book. Fortunately, I knew someone who had recently moved to Holland to wed a Dutchman. I loved talking to her before making the move and in the early days of living in London.
  • Have a plan. Honestly, you might think. That doesn’t sound very adventurous. That is the key. Electing a life change need not be looked on as an adventure but rather a new life experience. Thus, I latched on to the advice to have a plan, even if I did ignore the many warnings and the what ifs firing away at me.
  • Stay in your comfort zone. I know, I know, there is all sorts of advice out there against this. But one step at a time is quite enough. For example, rather than to change my hair radically, according to the stylist in my neighbourhood, I branched out and found someone who spoke my hair’s language and mine, too.
  • Get acclimatised as quickly as you can. This does mean venturing out and trying old things that amount to new things in your new situation—things that encourage, instil confidence and give you what you need to exist happily. In my case, it was independence. I learned to drive in the UK pretty early on. And yes, I had to overcome roundabouts, a big odd stacked against me, but I persevered.
  • Stay in touch with what is familiar, making your transition a little easier. For me, I kept close to my family and a few good friends. My mother wrote to me regularly, and I wrote to her and we chatted on the phone, her teaching me how to make cornbread dressing, even if I had to go to extremes to source the cornmeal. Also, my best girl spoke to me daily, came on the journey with me spiritually, and visited when she could as well.
  • In addition, I looked for home away from home in church, went to gospel concerts, and made friends with other American women living in London under similar circumstances.
  • Embrace your new life. This is the grandmother of all the tips. It’s all about seeing the opportunity in any situation. Even when I longed to return to the US because I missed my cushy life there, I held onto building a new one here, appreciating the new experiences, the new ways of doing things. For example, I took a master’s degree to build credentials here.
Again, these tips are not about bragging or long suffering or suffering in an untenable situation. They are about rising above the odds against you, ensuring personal growth, which often leads to happiness in the space where you actually are. For more tips on rising above odds, check out Series 2: Episode 3 – Rising Above Odds.
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All About Skin

It’s Elizabeth as guest blogger again, this time writing about skin.

Someone once said that youth was wasted on the young. With each new wrinkle that forms, I am starting to see the truth in that saying and often imagine how great it would be if I knew then what I know now.

As a teen girl, I often neglected to pay my skin any attention and, while there is no magic fountain of youth or a fool proof solution for perfect skin (what a shame!), I have learned along the way that there are certain things that can help to put your best face forward.

Firstly, let’s talk about skin care. Since our skin is unique to us and our life-styles, I like to think of caring for my skin in terms of feeding it with both inner and outer nutrition.

Inner nutrition is having a healthy diet with plenty of water and consuming less of the things that are bad for my skin, such as sugar and alcohol (okay, I’m not a saint and do indulge every now and then!) As a girl, however, I didn’t really understand the connection between sugar and break-outs, for example. You live and learn, a good segue to outer nutrition.

This is why I nourish my face with a good moisturiser and full body with body cream to hydrate from the outside. Long gone are the days when I use just a face-wipe before bed, but that’s something I’ve only realised in my 40s! Experts say that a good skin care routine should start in your teens, ideally from the age of 14 years. However, as Jenny Hawkins points out in Episode 3: Your Skin Inside Out, it is important to use age appropriate products. The products in your mother’s cupboard, for example, are likely to be too mature for your skin.

Next, let’s talk about skin and the sun. In my late teens and early 20s, it used to be a case of applying sun cream and then forgetting about it for the rest of the day, the lower the SPF the better. Now, and with the benefit of hindsight, a tonne of research and hot tips from our podcast, it is clear that the reverse is true. That is, the higher the SPF the better and it is important to re-apply regularly. My kids, however, don’t agree and you might not either. But take it from someone who has been there and done that, protecting your skin from the sun is non-negotiable.

And finally about the topic of make-up, less is most definitely more. When I was a teen, I wasn’t allowed to wear heavy make-up and no doubt protested at the time. In hindsight, I’m thankful for my parents’ guidance as I only ever got the occasional spot.  Don’t get me wrong though, I love to wear make-up. It makes me feel more confident and ready to face (sometimes literally!) the day. The key is age-appropriate make-up and products that are right for our individual skin type. A heavily made up face all the time, particularly for young skin, could cause blemishes and other damage, too.

No wonder I love the clean feeling of taking off make-up at night and lately I find myself trying to have days where I take a break from wearing it altogether. In my 20s and 30s, I wouldn’t have dreamed of venturing outside without a full face of make-up on, but ironically as I’m getting older and probably need it more with bags, dark circles and wrinkles, I find it strangely empowering to go without.

I love this quote from actress Drew Barrymore, ‘I like to take a break from vanity…when a woman is laughing, fresh from a workout or just enjoying her life…that is when she at her most beautiful.”  Personally, I couldn’t agree with her more and feel the key to a happy life is ultimately to be happy in your own…you guessed it…skin.

For more tips on skin and how to care for it, tune into our podcast with skin expert Jenny Hawkins – Episode 3: Your Skin Inside Out. Jenny offers some amazing tips and inspirational advice, too.

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As Simple as Good Food to Stay Healthy

I am no goodie two shoes when it comes to my eating habits, contrary to popular belief. So, I do have veggies at all three meals regularly, including breakfast but I still know how to find the best chocolate chip cookies I can eat even though I am gluten intolerant, and if I can’t source such a treat from one of my trusted supermarkets, I can always find the perfect recipe.

A few months ago, I made gluten free cinnamon rolls. Amazing!

But let me be clear—chocolate chip cookies and the likes are a treat for me nowadays, not a regular snack. Partially, I came to this conclusion because of my conflict with gluten but there is another reason I decided to relegate sweets to the back of my diet, only to come forward from time to time as a treat.

The answer is: I feel like a different person when I am not full of refined carbohydrates. I feel well, full of energy, ready to meet the day. It is as simple as that. Looking over my shoulder I do often ask myself, what took me so long to get this simple message. And here is what I stumbled on.

First of all, I didn’t have time to eat healthily all the time. Even as a teen girl, I was on the go. We had cheerleader practice, then choir rehearsal and all the rest, which sounds like a cake walk now compared to the schedule of my teenage niece. Still, I felt lucky to grab a pack of cookies, some potato chips (crisps) and maybe even a soft drink to keep going. I was young, my body could handle it. After all I would eat a nutritious supper that my mother prepared for supper. One good meal was enough, I rationed.

As a young writer, I carried on a bit with that same flawed thinking, too busy to stop to eat but I always had time for a cup of coffee, a cola, for energy that is until I got a headache, ill or something that put me out of commission totally.

Now when I find myself about to miss a meal, I always have a treat on hand—an apple, some pecans—until I can get a balanced meal. The key is planning and preparing, a point that Judit Ressinka makes in Episode 2: Your Body Inside Out. Admittedly, some days lunch is a little later than recommended but almost always it is the right fuel. The payoff for making the time is I get to carry on working, feeling really well and out comes a good result.

Next, I didn’t think I really liked what was called healthy food—a salad, beetroot, some nuts, etc… For many years I was sort of a meat and potatoes kind of girl and though no one loves French fries more than I do, they don’t necessarily serve me. Thus, I find substitutes that are equally as tasty such as sweet potato fries, parsnip and carrot fries and so on, and keep it moving and leave the real deal for a special treat. The key, however, is to keep the extra ingredients such as flour out of it, and roast or bake with a little olive oil. How tasty is that!

Finally, I thought I could eat what I wanted and just shake it all off in the gym. Admittedly, though the few extra pounds came off, I could never quite budge that heavy feeling. I learned rather quickly that weight is not just about what is on the scale, it is about everything that you are carrying inside. A lot of it is dead weight down to inappropriate food and unnecessary anxiety as well, some of it triggered by food. Though enjoying food is important, make sure you are enjoying the right food for you.

Now about those cinnamon rolls made back in October last year. Shush, don’t tell Judit Ressinka. Anyhow, they are ever so sweet as a treat from time to time. Notice I didn’t say were—they are (in my freezer in portions) because I do get it now, that eating properly is what it takes to feel well and full of energy. It is as simple as that.

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A Bit Of Inspiration

Body image is a heavy topic, especially when it’s personal. And though I am in a good space now I haven’t always been, particularly during the last and first months of the year. The time of feasting can so often lead up to the time of questioning, scrutinising and trying to shed weight, one of the issues that can lead to poor body image.

Thankfully, I am in good stead for now. Still I am thrilled that we have chosen this week to re-release our fourth podcast ever, Your Body Image Inside Out, with personal trainer Laura Miles, released in May 2017. In the podcast, Laura who was an obese teenager, not only tells her personal story but also shares tips about how to keep fit without obsessing and comparing.

The bottom line is you are the only you in the world, so while you might not be exactly like some of the other girls, never mind. That was a hard lesson for me as a teen girl, believe it or not. I do remember feeling if only I had a body like her or even her I would be better at sports or more attractive and so on.

But over the years I have come across some tips that have helped me to embrace me, genes and all. Many of our UIO podcast guests, including Laura, either directly or indirectly have given some top tips on how to find happiness in the space you are in, starting now.

As published in my blog in May 2018, here they are, as apropos as ever.

Banish self-deprecating talk!
Focus on health!
Embrace genes, fanny and all!
Focus on likes and not on dislikes!
Make the most of the haves (that is what you have); ignore the have nots!

These tips can help with all poor body image problems, not just weight issues. And to add to the list: get active. Research shows that girls don’t always enjoy getting into sports, for example, owing to body image problems. Recently, our guest Laura wrote in a social media post that because she was no good at sports, likely to do with being obese, she refused to engage for fear of letting the team down. It was only when she found spinning, something that wasn’t a team sport or activity of sorts that she got active and begin to stop obsessing over poor body image and started getting healthy.

I can relate to Laura’s fears about letting the team down. Admittedly, I dreaded P.E. and sports days, but now I am one of the first to the gym, at least on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s, because I understand the importance of exercise in the big scheme of things. And I get the bit about eating healthily, too, so important to developing a good body image.

When you feel better, you are better all around. Check out Episode 4: Your Body Image Inside Out for more tips and inspirational quotes on body image. During this first month of the year we could all do with a bit of inspiration. I know I can. Enjoy!

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What do you want for your life?

There’s something exciting about a new beginning, something which encapsulates the tenderness of youth, something which holds promise and therefore, refreshes and invigorates the spirit.

No wonder the New Year marks a time when so many of us make resolutions, particularly ones around weight loss and wealth acquisition and so on. The trouble with this, however, is that as the year matures, the resolutions mature as well, feel a bit yesterday, if you will. In short, they don’t materialise.

Admittedly, I have never been big on the hype and pressure around making New Year’s resolutions, not because I am a kill joy contrary to some belief, but because I tend to be more of a realist than an idealist.

Ideally it sounds great to kick all the bad habits I have acquired throughout the year in January, but can I really do it? Unlikely! Over the years, I have taken a tip from the story of creation. For nearly five years now, I have enjoyed a daily reading called the Bible In One Year (BIOY) with commentary by Nicky Gumbel, vicar of Holy Trinity Brompton where I happen to belong as member, and though I love reading most Bible stories, the first ones are amazingly uplifting and refreshing.

I say that because when God created humankind in particular, He was clear about what He wanted for us and when it didn’t quite go to plan, He had a strategy to get things back on track—my take on the things, not Nicky’s or sound theology, so do bear with.

It is sort of like new parents deciding what they want for their baby’s life, not only from day to day, but from month to month and from year to year and setting goals to achieve their dreams and desires, not waiting for the last hour to decide. Certainly, along the way, things fall to the wayside and sometimes don’t go as planned but they don’t leave it to the pulse of the moment, New Year’s Eve or Day, to resolve, to make adjustments, to get back on track.

They think about health and wealth, hopefully not obsessively, throughout the year and often use a new beginning such as the New Year or a birthday to reflect, to assess, to celebrate, to launch the next phase in life.

I have found this approach hugely gratifying in both my personal and professional life. From a personal standpoint, it’s all about well-being with the underlying question to do with what do I want for myself? And that which I can control, I stay in the driver’s seat as much as possible. I run, I train, I keep good company and eat well most of the time and when I don’t, well, I reflect, assess and get on with the next phase. And that which I don’t control, I pray about it and try to give it the perspective that it deserves, which is a good segue to what’s on the agenda professionally.

Same underlying question—what do I want for UIO in 2019? Naturally, I would have pondered this question long before these fresh few days in January and am delighted to say that there is so much brewing for UIO in 2019, all to do with the well-being of teen girls throughout the world.

Later this year, we launch a new campaign to do with reclaiming the teen girl space.  Exciting, yeah! And lots of other good things on the horizon with a view to help carve a better quality of life for our girls. So watch this space and keep listening to our podcasts, which all offer opportunities to reflect, to assess, to celebrate, to launch the next phase in your life. Meanwhile, wishing you all that you want for your life in 2019. Happy New Year!

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Finding Opportunities During Down Time

The timing never seems quite right to be out of action for one reason or another. At least not for me. Famous last words before the storm, right.

“Not now! I cannot afford to be sick… I’ll take a break after the this or that is over.”

Barring a sudden accident such as a broken leg, a torn ligament, a virus, etc…, which puts you out of commission whether you like it or not, often times you can limp through the storm, if you are anything like me. But is limping really developing your full potential? Like the time when shingles hit in between trips to the US to take care of my father. I remember saying to my GP, “I cannot deal with this now. My dad has a major surgery in just under two weeks and I have to go there.“

Calmly, he wrote out the prescription for a medicine that would leave me as high as a kite and faced his computer and began searching his calendar until he came to an appointment just before my air travel. “I will see you back here then,” he said. “And if you are fit to travel, off you go, and if not, someone else will have to step in.”

In a daze, I stumbled out of his office and made my way to a nearby coffee shop and did what came most natural—ordered a croissant and a coffee and commenced to ponder the matter. Never mind that I already knew that I had somewhat of a gluten intolerance. But as I tried to calm the noise in my head, I had a light bulb moment, something to do with taking a little more responsibility for the situation, reflecting on how I arrived in the tight spot in the first place, how I was going to get out of it and also, what I might do while in it to develop personally.

Upon reflection, I can see that my mind ran to the safety of personal development for answers, even if I didn’t understand fully what was happening. Suddenly, I realised that the food I was eating wasn’t necessarily helpful for the situation nor was the anxiety that I was courting and joining ranks with. What could I do to avoid such a crisis moving forward and if even if I couldn’t avoid it, how could I manage the situation to serve me, to get better, instead of staying in a dark or corner or causing further harm?

In this particular situation, I was able to keep moving as I wasn’t house bound or bedridden, though I was trapped in my mind and possibly in London, but I have had my moments of physical limitations, too. And upon reflection I’ve found that looking for the opportunity to grow personally while healing is a game changer. Doing so means coming back to the game, whatever it is, stronger and better. Here are some tips that have helped me:

 

1) Start the day on a positive note with some form of meditation. For me, that means a prayer. For others it might mean a session of mindfulness or full meditation.
2) Keep it moving physically. If you are able to walk, have a short walk. If not, find a way to do exercise from right where you are.
3) Eat foods that serve your body, not ones that are going to depress the mind and the body further. As Robyn Spens points out in our latest podcast, On Personal Development, go for whole foods. As much as I love croissants, the difference in my mental and physical capacity is amazing when I pass on them, any gluten.
4) Reflect upon personal goals. If you are on track, that is amazing! Look at ways to stay on track. If you are not, ask questions, loads of them. What are the hindrances? In the case with the bout of the shingles, I was so stressed that I was driven beyond what my body could do. I had to put the matter into perspective and then remembered a quote from a personal development trainer of sorts that I met early on in New York. “You can do anything you want but not everything at the same time.”
5) Take up a new activity. Ever fancied learning to draw or even knitting. Such activities require quieting the left side of the brain, the chatter box, and just letting things flow naturally.
6) Catch up on your reading and your UIO podcasts. Stretch the mind, use the imagination to live beyond your sick bed.
7) Write it all down. I highly recommend keeping a journal as many of the guests from our UIO podcasts suggest. Doing so gets your thoughts down and also teaches you loads about yourself.

 

When all is said and done, if you do these things and others that are healthy to healing, there will be less time for worrying about missing out on the game and keeping up with social media, for example. Sure, the odd moment or two to stay connected to the world is important but the most important thing is reconnecting to self and working on developing your full potential in the space you are in. And if that is on your sick bed, go for it and get well soon.

I did—the trip to the US was far more rewarding for both me and my father.

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What Is Personal Development Anyway?

It’s Elizabeth and I’m delighted to once again be invited to guest blog on the UIO podcast page.

This week I will be talking about personal development, a topic that will be covered also in our upcoming podcast in December.

Personal development is an often used but rarely explained term. For me, the term refers to investing in myself so that I can manage myself effectively regardless of what life might bring my way. Personal development has allowed me to be proactive and rather than wait for good things to happen, I try to get out there as much as possible and make them happen.

An example of this was the time I was made redundant from a high profile role in I.T. while on maternity leave with my first child. Initially, I was devastated and didn’t have a clue what to do. What would we do for money? How would we pay the bills? Would anyone else want to employ me? Would I have to cut my precious maternity leave short? The worries seemed endless.

Fortunately, I had just read an article on personal development and as an already optimistic person whose ‘glass is always half full,’ I decided to take this situation as a positive, rather than a negative, opportunity and used the time to reflect personally about what it was I actually wanted to do with my life – possibly for the first time ever.

I decided I wanted to become self employed and do a role whereby I could not only earn enough financially, but also work around my baby and enjoy spending the cherished early years together. I then retrained to do exactly that. It hasn’t always been easy and I’ve had my fair share of struggles, but I haven’t looked back since. I now work around both my beloved children and I’m doing something I actually really enjoy.

Personal development therefore begins with self awareness– know who you are and be it!

As we approach the New Year, like most people, I use it as an opportunity to set my ‘New Year resolutions.’ In so doing, I feel it is just as important to have a plan to realise my goal, as it is to know what it is I actually want to achieve.

An example of this is my yearly quest to set about losing weight! More often than not, my good intentions only lasted until the end of January (if that sometimes!), as I never had a plan to help me achieve it. Simply stating “I will lose weight” isn’t going to get the job done! With this in mind, last year I devised a course of action and by mapping out details specifically, I actually achieved my goal.

Personal development therefore continues with having a plan – know what you want and go out and get it!

To conclude therefore, my journey to self awareness has led me to understand that personal development is about taking the time and, making the commitment, to invest in my greatest resource–me. I think that when I put effort into developing myself on a personal level, the rewards can be amazing. I may not always achieve my goal, but I genuinely feel that I am experiencing a richer and more rewarding life by committing to pursuing my own objectives.

So, don’t be put off because the results are not always the desired outcome but do remember that to achieve what you want in life is to know that the key to success lies in the ability to manage yourself in a variety of situations. That ability comes through making a commitment to personal development and I firmly believe that this is the first step on the path to personal fulfilment.

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Can We Be True To Our Own Identity, On And Offline?

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth and I am both thrilled and somewhat nervous to have been invited to write a guest blog on the UIO podcast page. Writing a blog is a first for me so here goes….!

This week we are focusing on both identity and online wellbeing, topics that we’ve covered in our latest podcast. Though a person’s identity is shaped by many different aspects – family, culture, friends, personal interests, education, gender, religion, sexuality, socio-economic groups and so on, some factors may have more of an influence than others and as a person grows up, they are influenced by many aspects of their life. For example, family and culture may influence a person’s sense of responsibilities, ethics, morals, and humour, whereas friends may influence a person’s taste in clothing, music, speech, and social activities.

I believe however, that personal interests are what truly set individuals apart and shape identity. An individual is not a puppet and should be encouraged to explore what they like and don’t like, rather than following the crowd. To this end, society has had limited impact on my lifestyle, mostly because I tend not to follow trends. For example, throughout my teens I listened to Rock music while my friends followed the music trends at that time, such as Bros–even putting the bottle tops on their shoes! (Showing my age here!!!)

This tendency of mine to not follow my friends followed me into adulthood. I had several amazing jobs in the corporate world working in a 9 to 5 role, but always felt that working in this way wasn’t for me. So, partly due to circumstance and partly because I felt trapped, I re-trained as a personal trainer and sports coach, and then later as a digital marketer and VA.

Admittedly, having a career doing a role I actually like helps me to keep my identity as ‘Elizabeth,’ while also enjoying being a busy mum of two. Moreover, I love being in a position to be able to be a positive role model, giving everyone the same opportunities in sport, even if it means breaking down gender stereo-types. Girls bring their emotional selves to football for example, and I teach them to embrace that–that is their true self so why hide it?

I have a strong set of morals and ethics that I have partly adopted from my parents, but some are also my own. My bootcamps teach girls to look beyond the filters, feel happy in their environment, be comfortable in their bodies and ultimately, make the most of being YOU.

I was extremely privileged to go to university and get a first class honours degree in International Business, but appreciate not everyone is. I, therefore, teach young individuals not to be limited by their environment etc, but to be who they want to be.

In today’s world, identity is also important in the online space. Social media can be a positive tool to help children develop and grow but it can also affect young peoples’ emotional and mental health.

Being too active on Social media and worrying about regularly posting pictures and status updates has been linked to anxiety, poor body image and diminished mental health. The constant seeking of approval from others and searching for external validation means that young people don’t develop a secure sense of self that isn’t dependant on arbitrary conditions of worth. This preoccupation with how other people react to what we post on social media can lead us all, particularly young people to feel unsure about their value. Constant posting may also open them up to receiving more negative or mean comments on line, rather than compliments or praise.

Social media is here to stay though, and while there are, of course, many benefits, it is important that we as parents, guardians, teachers, influencers, people in positions of responsibility etc, discuss with our kids the importance of using it in a healthier way. To this end, we need to equip them with tools to create a safe space within social media by talking about the impact of seeking approval from an online world that doesn’t really know them or comparing their lives to the edited versions of the lives they see online. This way they can be true to their own identity, on and offline.

For more hot tips, check out Your Identity Inside Out and Your Online Wellbeing Inside Out

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Teens and Parents Communicating For Better Relations

Our latest podcast, On Being A Teen Girl Now, is full of gems about life as a teen today. One particular topic that runs throughout the podcast is the importance of effective communications whether used to resolve conflict or to have a meaningful conversation.

Certainly, in my life, I try to rely on good communications. But let’s face it, even those of us who read the books (professional communicators) fall short during crunch time now and again.

Great advice from our guests, 16-year-old Leah and 15-year-old Divaina, to remember that communications is critical between parents and teens. Leah reminds that a conversation works two ways and Divaina suggests support and encouragement when a child has opened up instead of chastising them for perhaps a choice that might carry negative consequences.

This got me thinking back to last year when my teen niece visited London. I found myself in the parental position, doing all I could to protect her and keep her safe, yet admittedly, I found striking the balance between listening and advising a bit like tight rope walking sometimes. I suspect she did, too.

Upon reflection, however, some of the best moment we had were around me listening to her voice, her opinion on contemporary issues, and then having an open dialogue about seeking resolutions.

As both UIO guests touched upon, the relationships between teens and the adults in their lives are pivotal. The key is practicing effective communications and listening to each other is a good place to start. For more insight on how to communicate with your teens or your parents for that matter, listen to On Being A Teen Girl Now on iTunes and Soundcloud.

Stay tuned for our last podcast, On Personal Development, out in early December. In the meantime, check out this week’s blog with guest blogger, Elizabeth Ions, UIO’s new virtual assistant, as we reflect upon Rising Above Odds through sports and educational opportunities.

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Get The Inside Scoop

Nothing like getting inside information. And that is just what I did to produce UIO’s fifth podcast in this second series, which will be released next week. On Being A Teen Girl Now features 16-year-old Leah from Hertfordshire and 15-year-old Divaina from Kent.

Not only do we have a timely conversation about their greatest challenges and opportunities, it got me thinking about my teen years a bit more specifically. But before reminiscing, I can’t say enough about the potential of both Divaina and Leah, not only in the space they are each in but also looking to the future.

What I remember most about our interview together is their individual and collective fresh approach to life, their willingness to speak out, to correct something if it was wrong, such as the pronunciation of their names. Yep, I got both names wrong. Not to mention their consideration, concern and respect for each other and their peers, and the awareness and interest they both showed in the world around them.

Gosh, I thought, as my mind travelled back into time, was I that tuned in? What was happening in the world when I was a teenager? Have teen girls always faced as many pressures and have they always been expected, willing and able to express their trials and tribulations as I asked both girls to do. Could I have articulated my concerns so eloquently at such a young age?

While no clear-cut answers spring to mind on any of the questions, I have a good memory of the American Bicentennial Celebration in 1976. I was the ripe old age of fourteen. Two hundred years ago today was a theme that still lives in my head. Beyond that and who was President, I had to take a quick refresher to see what was happening on the world stage.

Closer to home, however, I do recall who my closest friends were, the importance I placed on friendships, as if the air I breathed depending on them, as well as the need to be perfect. Of course, the times are different and social media, for example, turns the heat right up on the importance of self-image, being a success and so on, but the concept of being on trend, being popular, and being smart seeped into my teenage brain all the same.

Also, there was the pink elephant in the room—racism. Though there was a collegial relationship between the races, we were certainly not a close-knit group or a group with desires to diversify. The first three years of our school life had been spent in desegregation, so here we were as teenagers, trying to make sense of the world together but on different sides of the aisle. One example of this is the fact that we had separate proms.

It was with this weight that I journeyed through my teen years, often times reasoning that the teen years didn’t matter, that they were more or less a dress rehearsal for the rest of life. Over my should now, I see how wrong I was. Hence my desire to support teen girls right where they are. Life is now. And the good news about today’s teen girls is their willingness to start where they are tackling issues like sexualisation, sexism, colourism and so on. And though it is a heavy load, it’s lightened in the power of togetherness.

Onwards and upwards for both our guests and all teen girls. Get the inside scoop on UIO: On Being A Teen Girl Now, out Wednesday, November 7th. Listen on iTunes, Soundcloud, TuneIn, Stitcher or subscribe to our RSS feed to have the podcast delivered to your device.